Stop All the Clocks (This Is the Last Time I'm Leaving Without You)

chapter 22

"Letter for you," Draco said brightly and took a sip from his mug, that horrible black one with Harry's face on it. Mug-Harry winked at him, and Harry decided that he'd accidentally-on-purpose break the damn thing when he did the washing up later. Draco would fix it with a quick Reparo, of course, but watching it shatter against the tile floor of the kitchen always made Harry feel a little better, and it made the most deliciously wonderful smashing sound.

Harry paused for a moment to picture that sound, then shuffled into the dining room, still blinking sleep from his eyes. He'd rolled over after their usual round of morning sex and fallen asleep again. When he'd opened his eyes an hour later, he'd been alone. After two years of waking up beside Draco, waking up without him was always something of an unwelcome surprise, even if he was quickly reassured by the rustle of newspaper pages turning and the soft thunk of a porcelain mug connecting with a tabletop. Draco swished his wand to end the warming charm he'd put over Harry's mug of tea, his favourite one with the blue stripes on it.

Harry dropped into the chair beside Draco and took a grateful sip, his thumb catching on the new chip in the handle. Draco had broken it last week in retaliation for him smashing Mug-Harry across the kitchen floor again. They'd both tried to Accio the missing shard afterward to no avail, and they were both utterly baffled as to what had happened to it. Harry could only hope that someday the same thing would happen to Mug-Harry's face.

He took another sip of tea before he set the mug aside. "Mm. What'd it say?"

Draco didn't even bother to pretend he hadn't read it. "McGonagall wants you to teach at Hogwarts. Three guesses what subject."

"Oh," Harry said, smothering a yawn with his fingertips. That again. She'd written him about it before, but this was the first time Draco had intercepted her letter. "Give it here. I'll write her after breakfast."

"Made up your mind already, have you?" Draco put his mug down and leaned back in his chair. Mug-Harry beamed up at him like the loon he was, like having tea drunk from his head was life's greatest pleasure. Harry shuddered to think how many of these stupid things were loose in the world.

"Yeah, not much to make up my mind about." Harry reached for a triangle of toast and spread it with strawberry jam. "Of course I'm not going to quit the Aurors."

Draco stretched his legs out and his foot bumped into Harry's under the table. His feet were bare and Harry knew he'd find another pair of socks squirrelled away somewhere around the house. Living with Draco and all his bloody socks was like participating in a scavenger hunt that just wouldn't end. Recently, Harry had taken to casting a strong Accio on laundry days instead of searching for each pair individually.

"I think you should," Draco said.

The triangle of toast slipped from his fingers and landed jam-side-down on the floor, and Harry blinked at Draco, startled. "What?"

"I think you should quit the Aurors. Take McGonagall up on her offer," Draco said. He swished his wand and Vanished the toast and the sticky splotch of jam from the floor, then reached for another triangle. "You'd be brilliant at teaching. It's a good opportunity for you."

Harry knew he would be, and for a moment he was sorely tempted to consider the offer. Being an Auror was rough work, dangerous and exhausting and thankless by turns. Sometimes Harry thought about quitting, entertained brief fantasies about what it'd be like to have a job where he didn't have to risk his life day after day, though before McGonagall had sent him that first letter he'd never thought about doing anything else. A part of him thought he'd only become an Auror because he didn't know how to do anything else. But Draco was an Auror because he ate, slept, and breathed it. And when Harry thought about leaving someone else to guard Draco's back, he just couldn't do it. It didn't matter what else he wanted. His place was at Draco's side, for as long as Draco needed him there.

He shrugged. "There'll be plenty of time for teaching when I'm too old for fieldwork," he said.

"Potter," Draco sighed. He finished spreading jam on the piece of toast and handed it to Harry, then licked a smudge of jam from between his thumb and index finger. "You know, when you love someone you should always cut their toast in triangles."

Harry frowned at him. "Triangles? But what's that got to do with..." He trailed off and looked down at the toast in his hand. "You... But you've always cut my toast in triangles." He couldn't remember a time when Draco hadn't.

"And I've always loved you," Draco said simply. "You're it for me, Potter."

Harry's mind spun. Something hot and fluttery prickled through his stomach. This seemed like far too important a conversation to be having across the breakfast table. "And you never thought to mention this to me before now?"

Draco shrugged. "I didn't think we were there yet. I didn't know if you were... ready for that."

"And now we are," Harry said helplessly. He'd been in love for years now, since he'd rushed back into that house and found Draco sprawled on the kitchen floor, bleeding out across the debris-strewn tiles. His heart had stopped in that moment, and when it had restarted a second later it had belonged entirely to Draco. He'd had no idea Draco felt the same. "You love me."

"I do. And that's why I want you to take that teaching position."

"No," Harry said, shaking his head. "No, I won't. The day you quit, I'll hand in my notice right along with yours. But until then, you're stuck with me."

Draco watched him for a few long moments, then sighed. "I don't suppose I can change your mind, can I? I really do think you'd be good at teaching. And I think you'd enjoy it more than you enjoy Aurorwork."

"I would," Harry admitted, then sucked in a deep breath. "But loving someone means you do what's best for them, even if it might not be the best for you."

Slowly, Draco came to his feet, took the two steps forward to Harry's chair and lowered himself down, straddling Harry's lap, and Harry slid his hands around Draco's waist to press against the small of his back. Draco leaned in and kissed him softly. "I love you too," he murmured against Harry's mouth.