drown with me 。(an abbachio x reader ♡〜)

realization.

y/n's pov;

the next week i barely got out of bed. i was alone, slowly taking down his pictures hour by hour. i spent my days archiving each and every one of our photos, i spent my days leaving our memories in my closet, for how could i ever pile them all into a bag. you were my whole life, too big for the world. the next week, i was antsy. i didn't have anyone around, i felt my walls caving in. i stared at the number for yesterday, today, but not tomorrow. i'd call today. i needed it. my phone was cold and dusted from being used so rarely. quickly tapping the numbers in, i would've thrown my phone across the room if i had the energy.

"hello? this is leone."

i paused, my brain and mouth going dry. i bit my lip in hesitation. "abbachio," i tried to muster a calm tone. "would you like to come to his grave with me? sorry for saying this so suddenly." the words spilt out of my mouth, i hope he could understand. i heard the faint sound of his breath against the microphone. please, please come with me. i don't have the strength to do this alone.

"okay. would you like me to drive over there? i can be there whenever."

i looked atop my counter, as the clock dragged out. SUNDAY, 11:20 AM. i held the phone closer to my mouth, hoping it would gift me courage. "yes, please. please come at noon." the word 'please' shuffled out of my mouth so much i thought that was all i said. "okay. see you then." i heard his voice shake. he was not strong as well. "you too," i whispered. we were both on the verge of drowning. hopefully we could pull each other out in time.

that was the first time i'd took a thorough shower that week. my hair was lengthy and my body ached. still, i combed it out and steadied my breath. SUNDAY, 12:02. please come, please please come. i held my breath against the worry bubbling up in my throat. i packed my phone and my wallet into my bag and sat on the porch, my eyes closing slightly. my forehead rested on my knees as i listened to the town. sometimes, i missed patrolling the city. yet my skin crawled under the weight of my uniform. i breathed slowly, trying to muster an inch of composure. 

i looked up, until my eyes stuck to abbachio. he made it. he actually came. i gave him a small smile, as i sat up from the porch and sat in his car. "did you sleep well, y/n?" you turned as he glanced at the directions his phone emitted. "kind of, i got a few hours of sleep. what about you?" he let out a hearty sigh. "i don't sleep that well. glad that you're getting sleep though." you shifted in your seat to momentarily look at abbachio. "huh? why can't you sleep?" you hoped your question wasn't too insensitive. you watched as he blinked a few times, contemplating if he should tell you. "insomnia. although, he's definitely taken a toll on my sleep." he glanced at you and smiled, and you smiled back. "i'm sorry about that. hope you get good sleep today."

abbachio's pov; 

"thank you, y/n. i think we're about to arrive." my eyes fought a gruesome fight to stay open, and my headache pulsed in pain. locking the car, we stumbled into the forest. it smelled humid, the bugs stirring up chaos in the small walking path. i held my arms close to my body as we stepped over rotten twigs. as we reached the patch of fresh grass and flowers again, they pulled out a picture. it was framed with tiny hearts, with writing on the top. as she set it near  big tree in the midst of the circle, i saw it clearly. he looked so happy. they both looked so happy. the photo was blurry, but it was one that could make any heart ache. blinking again, i pulled out a bouquet of his favorite flowers; daffodils. y/n looked at me, her eyes wavering to the bouquet. "i know," i voiced, only a little louder than a whisper. 

"they were his favorite." 

with that, she looked deep into my soul as they teared up. i looked down at his grave as i held my hands out, opening my arms. i knew. i knew she needed it. though i knew, if she hugged me, i'd be the one sobbing too. i looked in her e/c eyes in fear as she stumbled towards me, pulling me into a loose, tired hug. my eyes scrunched up as i felt them sob into my shoulder, her tears staining the shirt i had on. lightly, i grabbed her shirt, and let out a hoarse sob. one i've been meaning to scream to someone since the moment it hit me. the moment the blood touched my skin. i grasped onto her shirt as tight as i could as she screamed into my shirt, though i barely heard a thing. i dragged her with me, down onto the floor. my legs wouldn't get up. when was the last time i ever cried like this? a long, long time. 

i let go, desperately trying to compose myself, trying so hard to erase any form of tears that slid down my eyes. "i'm sorry," i voiced, not being able to look at y/n. "for what?" her voice was shallow, after her rough screams of agony. i looked at her, like a disheveled bug on the floor, hoping i wouldn't have to say anything. 'don't say anything,' he whispered. 'and no one will ever find out.' she stared back at me, as her hand shuffled in mid air, unsure of whether to touch me. "you can cry if you'd like to," she paused. she knew that i've heard it a thousand times over. "i'd never judge you. we're going through the same thing. so, for a little while," she took a shallow breath in, "we can drown in it together. for a little bit." 

i looked down. "okay," i whispered. because for a little while, i could cry with them. and this time, i believed it.

"would you like to have tea at my house, abbachio?"

i looked up at her, and took a breath in.

"okay."