Listen to the Casual Reply: A Collection of Short stories

The Umbrella

The world is sleeping and I am with you.

I should be at home, but I went to see you and you are bad off. Your works is crumbling and you are trying to make sense of it. I cannot help you.

Selfishly I am there because I want to spend any time with you I can, but I know my mere presence is a reminder that the world you have built is shifting into something unknown.

I've been there. My being there is of no help. Our circumstances were different. I cannot help you. I am afraid I am only a hinderance  and that you might resent me for it.

I used to be brave. But the unsure footing of merely being next to you has stolen what confidence I had.

While you talk I watch you and all I can do is keep myself from going and sitting next to you and touching you. That is what I want. I want to feel your hot skin as we explore and experience.

I haven't wanted someone like this is so long and I cannot imagine actually touching you so I stay seated across from you.

At one point during the monologue of self doubt you ask if I want to talk. Never. All I want is to hear you. Please continue. Never stop. I want to be able to soak all of this in and play it back for always.

Later we go to the porch and while you smoke you tell of a story of some import to the moment in your mind. And I am in my own world of all-consumed lust for you. I want so badly to touch you and after a few minutes my hand reaches out and pushes your hair back so I can see your eyes and you don't deviate at all. I wonder if I am even there. Am I even sitting on this porch with you?

When I announce it is late and I must go you walk me to my car under a large umbrella. I have never been one for umbrellas. To me the rain is the most romantic thing I can think of. Maybe even more so that the moon and the stars. Rain thrills me. And you walk me to the car and I worry about you being barefoot and I apologize. And you tell me I am a woman and the only thing I should be under an umbrella is charming. That men may be charmed by charming women under umbrellas.

I don't think it worked.