We Promised

Chapter 10

Her body isn't as cold as I thought it would be moments after death. I pull her onto my lap, my face wet with tears. Blayne is slumped on the floor, staring with his mouth open and quiet tears trailing down his face. "Get out! Get away! GET AWAY!" I scream at him. Jaxon flinches, and I hide my shock, quickly snuffed out with my grief. Jaxon never flinches. "I'll kill Abigail for that," I whisper, knowing the words will carve into his skin and rip underneath his cold surface to wherever his heart is supposed to be kept. He runs out like the rat he is and I don't bother to see where he went. I rest my head on my sister, willing her to wake. Sobs tear at my lungs, my eyes burning from deprivation of hydration. Blayne crawls to us and I reach for him. It's all I can manage. I don't know what else to do. I need to leave. I can't look at her, wait for her to turn cold. I can't do it. I stumble through the hallways until I reach the door to the library, opening it slowly. The doors squeal on their hinges, and the stacks of books catch my attention first. The scent of old books fills my nose and I let it in, the smell calming me. "Wilbur. W-Wilbur!" I find him in a chair, reading a book. The wise old man immediately drops what he's doing, questioning me with his eyes at my state. An old fire burns in his eyes, a fire of knowledge, history, and pain. He's my mother's brother. He told me of how she used to be. He told me stories of how much she loved Corbin, and how she turned cold and he didn't know why. I don't think I ever want to know. Thinking she was an evil, and vile person, is good enough for me. It's easier this way, better for me to hate her. I never saw the good side of her, and that is enough.

He ushers me over to him and I fall to my knees. How could I have let this happen? He hates royals, he hated me and now because of me, my sister is dead just a few rooms away. I don't know how long I've cried, or how hard. But, it must be bad because the lights flash overhead, until they don't, leaving us in darkness. I've forgotten control, forgotten what is now attached to my emotions, attached to my soul. Wilbur's eyebrows pull together, and he pushes the curtains to the nearest window aside. He freezes, shocked in place. The old man doesn't scare easily, never has. "By my blood, I haven't seen something like this since 38'. How incredible," he says. I stand up in a numb haze, reaching out for anything to distract me. Guilt hits me in my gut. The whole city has gone in a blackout, plummeting our people in darkness, because of me. "I'll go restart the main generators," I say with a sniffle. "I'll come with you," Blayne agrees. Distractions are all we need for the time being.

We fill the silence with the steady moving transport, our pale cheeks flushed and sticky with tears. We know not to talk. We are both suffering the loss of another sibling and not only do we know to block out the grief, but to support the walls we put up as well, knowing it's too damn hard to feel it anymore. I stare at our country whizzing by and I curse myself inside. Letting myself be blinded by an insurgent? I should have known better. The betrayal is something I can never and will never forget. I grip the edges of my seat and Blayne jumps when I put a hand on his shoulder. "What are we going to tell Father?" I whisper. My chest heaves and my throat chokes up, an invisible wire squeezing my windpipe. "Relax, sister. We shouldn't worry about that now." He puts his arm around my shoulders, and I close my eyes to block out more feelings that are threatening to rush out of me. Blayne blanches when his pager rings. "Eve is calling." I grab his hand and give him a look that says, you've got this. He shoves the pager in my hand and I look at him before putting it to my mouth. "Hello?" My voice wavers as my body tries to adjust to the stoic shell it was before and she sobs. "Ilvera, come back. I need you guys. I need my siblings. Pl-. Please." She ends with a whisper, crying through the small speakers. I pinch my lips together, forcing my walls back up, fighting to keep them up. I press the button and end the call before I can feel anything more. "We're here," I say in a hoarse whisper. Neither of us move. I don't know where I get the strength, but I pull myself out of the transport, trying to quiet the screaming inside my head. I pull the taut metal string, slinging the thirty-foot wheel as hard as I can.