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❝ I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO, HAUNTED BY THE GHOST OF YOU ❞
❦
TW.
--
three months later...
--
the kind of feeling karen wheeler was experiencing at that very moment, was indescribable. the pain she felt was unbearable and unbeatable. the misery she went through was unutterable. and the worst part is, she thought that she'd feel this exact feeling for the rest of her life.
the only reasonable thing that could've been said in this position was that it felt like the world was ending.
her son was no longer living and it still came as a shock to her; even after three months.
the feeling of shock when she opened the front door, and there wasn't mike's presence making a mess in the kitchen. the feeling of shock when she remembered she didn't have to leave the house to pick up any prescribed medication for mike. the feeling of shock when she had to sleep alone during cold nights and recalling that mike was not silently dozing in the room across from her own.
but this was it. this was the day she was going to take steps into the room of her deceased son for the first time in three months.
she felt discomfort and panicked as she opened the door of his room. her feet brushing lightly against the wooden floor, creating little squeaks with each step. her was face pale and eye bags dark.
though the further she went, the more connected to him she felt.
it was like he was there with her. his soul was present and she felt safe.
her feet took her to mike's bed. his sheets, blankets and pillows in the same position just as he left them last. untouched. she laid herself onto the mattress and her head steadied itself on one of the pillows.
the first thing she was met with were the polaroids that hung off his ceiling. mike's face in the pictures filled with nothing but pure joy and lust. but he was the only one there. no el, only mike. all the thousands of pictures that held their memories, the ones they took together, was just make believe. that's all it ever was.
uncontrollable silent tears shed from karen's eyes as she took each and every picture off the ceiling, one by one.
--
with the polaroids held tightly by the pocket of her thin coat, a lit candle in her hand, and a bunch of dandelions in her other hand, karen was strolling through the graveyard looking for one stone in particular.
on the way there she had picked a handful of dandelions off the ground. she sadly chuckled at the memory of a fourteen year old mike bursting into her bedroom with a look of excitement on his face, and telling her how her and el both share the same liking for the certain flower.
the reason for it being because they both loved that before a few huffs or blows on the flower, you can wish on it. any wish you'd like and it was rumoured to come true. it was obviously a just a silly myth, but that didn't stop karen for taking one and wishing that she'd see her baby boy, soon enough.
the second she had arrived at her destination, she settled the candle and dandelions down on his stone.
she took the polaroids out of her coat and displayed them all around the tombstone.
it was a beautiful sight indeed. a candle glowing in the darkness of the night upon the monument, accompanied by handpicked flowers spread from across, followed by numerous pictures showing a smiling boy of innocence.
"i told you that i'd love you forever, sweetheart," she grievously said while gently running her fingertips on his headstone.
--
"i'll love you forever." she whispered to her newborn baby michael, after 21 hours of labour.
--
"but i guess forever wasn't meant for everyone."
"and maybe if you hadn't given up, you could've found your own el. your own real el. but your gone now... so i will be too." she continued, as she took her gun out of her pocket, pointed it to her head, and pulled the trigger.
her own lifeless body resting six feet above mike's.
and everything happened because it was all just fake, right? four years of michael's life wasted on something he forced himself to believe was real, nonetheless ended up getting not only himself killed in the process, but his beloved mother too.
but how could something so fake, feel so real?
...
A/N: ok wow holy shit well that's the end.. i wanna thank all of u for reading this book, it really means the world to me so thank uu!! i genuinely hope u liked this short story (sorry for the ending btw, ik ik i am a cruel evil horrible human being)!! i love you,, bye :))
