Maybe not so loveless

#5 Oh the irony

Alec knew he was in control of his body now. And he was sure that he was not going to cave in. He didn't care if it was even his fiancé, someone who he was going to spend the rest of his life with. He didn't want to let anyone new into his life.

And he was going to make sure of it.

*****

The high ceilings of the main hall of the Institute sparkled with lights as decorations hung in every direction. Flowers were fixed in bouquets in every corner, curtains decorated every pillar, and Shadowhunters and Downworlders together filled the hall and sat in the chairs. Everyone were talking in small groups in whispers, while the main hosts ran across the room checking everything for the last time.

Izzy was looking gorgeous in a gold gown that hugged her body, making her feel the most comfortable and confident, as she went around in her matching heels, talking to the Downworlders she knew, making them feel welcome.

Jace was on the other side, looking smart in a dark blue suit and a black button up shirt, as he roamed around making sure that the Shadowhunters were not offending the Downworlders, while Maryse, in a cream gown, was going around checking the catering, the band, and the security for the wedding.

While all this was happening outside, no one saw a guy clutching a piece of paper close to his heart, as he closed his eyes shut, trying to keep his tears at bay. Sitting on his bed in a room near the hall for the groom, his black hair hanging from his head all messy, sat the Shadowhunter looking at the crushed piece of paper in his hand. But he didn't have the time to think about it further, as it was time.

Taking a deep breath, he stood up and looked at the mirror, adjusting his black and white suit, with a bow tie, which made him look even more professional than usual. He adjusted the watch on his left hand, courtesy of his sister, and to quote her, "it compliments the look" and bent down to tie the laces of his leather shoes, which were polished to the maximum amount, sparkling in the light.

He folded the paper, keeping it in his trouser pocket, as he went out to meet his family. After them making a few adjustments in the symmetry of his outfit, he walked past and stood as told by his mother. The band started playing the instrumental song, as he started walking down the aisle with his mother by his side, seeing that his father couldn't attend his wedding due to his duties.

He was able to recognise the song. It was something Izzy had played to him two days before, asking him for his opinion. Alec could even remember the lyrics for reasons he still didn't know.

Come to me
In the night hours
I will wait for you

Alec laughed internally as he sung along the tune in his mind. Walking down, he saw the decorations done to the hall, along with the lights, as the whole hall looked brighter, and happier for him? Like how his family looked at the moment.

And I can't sleep
'Cause thoughts devour
Thoughts of you consume

Thoughts of whom? Alec wondered. For all the thoughts that ran through his mind when he couldn't sleep was not the ones the song here was suggesting. The trauma, the horror, the hope he saw, those are thoughts that did devour him often, not letting him sleep.

I can't help but love you
Even though I try not to
I can't help but want you
I know that I'd die without you

Alec tried hard to laugh at the irony of the situation. Here he was, going down the aisle, fake smiling at everyone present, as he was about to get married and be stuck in what was and would be a loveless marriage, and here was the band, singing about how he couldn't help but love.