Feast ~Kaneki x Reader AU~

Chapter 5: Good Guest

It's funny how much you think about your life when you're trapped in a cage for an extended amount of time.

I mean, it's not as if I haven't already looked over my life repeatedly. Even before I was thrust into this mess, glimpsing over my life has been something I've done. However, now it's almost as if I'm looking at things I've never really bothered looking at. Like my relationship with YF/N.

With my dad.

With all things considered, he's never been an involved man. Hell, even I know the man didn't want to claim me. I once heard him tell my mother he didn't believe I was his. Ridiculous, of course. Other than the fact that my mother was always faithful – unlike my father – I look so much like him, though Grandma always said I'm the perfect blend of the two. A perfect combination of Mom and YF/N, but I've always found that to be cringe.

I hated being told I resembled even the smallest snippet of him. As far as I was concerned, I didn't claim him either. I still feel that way, even in this cell with these bars. My feelings haven't shifted. So...why am I thinking about this?

It's not as if it's ever bothered me before. I've gotten by just fine without him. I survived all the hospital stays, tests, and scares without him there. Never once did I need him. As far as I was concerned, so long as I had Mom, I was fine.

My breath hitches for a moment.

Maybe that's it. Maybe that's the missing piece. All my life, I've had my mother. She was always right there, cheering me on...wiping my tears away...holding me. No matter what was going on, she was right there.

But now she's not.

She's gone. Dead. Deceased. Forever asleep. No matter how I word it, she's still gone and there's no changing that. And I might have made peace with that, but sitting alone in this cell, staring out the window as my mind wanders...I am reminded of the gap in my chest.

It still hurts. It'll always hurt. I doubt it'll ever fully heal. Still, I lost my mother, so why am I now thinking about my absent father? It doesn't make sense, and if I'm being honest, it's pissing me off. That deadbeat doesn't deserve any space in my thoughts. Not like how Mom does.

But maybe...maybe I play as if I never gave a shit about him. Maybe I play the I-don't-care card, but maybe I do care. Maybe – just maybe – deep down, there is a wounded little girl who doesn't know the love of a father.

A tear rolls down my cheek.

I hate this...I hate this so damn much.

"Knock, knock!" Eto cheers, barreling through the door.

I quickly wipe my tears away and straighten my posture, turning to her. "Oh, hey. Wasn't expecting to see you."

"Yeah, figured I'd swing by and say hi. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Indeed."

She comes closer, leaning against the bars. Like the norm, I can feel her stare fixate on me. Observing me as she has so many times before. And given my little mini...whatever that was, I feel especially exposed and vulnerable.

"You seem kind of down," she says.

Well, no shit. Look where I am. "Yeah...today's a tad...rough."

She just stands for a moment. Then: "I bet I know what'll make it better."

Obviously, nothing but letting me go could be the best thing. However, I doubt she's about to open this door and tell me to be free. That's just too much hopeful thinking.

She extends a hand, a flimsy cord swaying. "Here," she smiles, "this might raise your spirit a bit."

I almost dismiss it, not thinking much of it when it clicks. My charger. It's my phone charger she's swaying back and forth. Does this mean...? Can I finally charge my phone?

I hesitate, but eventually make my way to her, retrieving my charger, which she does not snatch away. She just remains there, dropping her arm once I have the cord in my hands.

"Hope that helps a bit," she continues. "I can only imagine how dismal this all is for you."

How considerate. "Thank you."

"Oh, you're very welcome." She pauses, still watching me, eyes burning a hole in my skin. It's uneasy. Creepy, really. Her watching me as I plug my phone in. Then: "So, I've been doing some thinking. Things around here seem to be going smoothly. Tatara has eased up it seems. Kaneki is being compliant."

My throat goes dry. Kaneki. How long has it been since I've last seen him? And Banjou? But wait, if he's being compliant, then that means they must've not caught onto his plan. So, does that mean that he's okay? That they're okay? I hope so.

"I suppose you could say all is well here," she continues. "Which brings me to my main reason for visiting."

I arch a brow. "Your main reason? You mean, you didn't just come to chat?"

She snickers, "Well, I do enjoy our conversations. That is true. However, I suppose you could say that I am a bringer of good news."

Good news, eh? She talks in circles. I've known that for a while now. Each interaction with her only leaves me baffled. But I'm not about to get snarky and piss away any good news she may have.

"I'm listening," I say, leaning closer.

Her posture shifts, straightening as the sensation of a smile emanates from her. "I feel that your release is approaching."

My eyes widen at this. My release? She's really bringing that up? Really telling me this? Does this mean that there's about to be a light at the end of this dismal tunnel?

"My release is approaching?" I repeat quizzically. "Does this mean you'll be letting me go?"

She nods, "Yes, and very soon, might I add."

My heart hammers against my ribs as my pulse strums in my ears. It's almost unbelievable. I mean, she's been telling me that she plans on freeing me, but hearing that it's approaching...well, that gives me a snippet of hope.

"Soon?" I wrap my hands around the bars. "Might I ask how soon?"

"I'd say within the week. Of course, only if you remain a good little guest, that is." She leans closer. "Can't start acting up, now. So, how does that sound?"

It might not be much on detail, but it's something. Even if it's a tease so far, it's still something, so I'll take it. I'll take anything I can get by this point.

So, with all my might and all my courage, I nod, "It sounds like a plan."

And deep down, I hope it's a promise.

**Ello lovelies. I apologize. My head has been so out of it lately. Between work, Lily's passing, and home life, I haven't really been much up for writing. That said, I'm still doing it because I'm not about to abandon a project or leave y'all hangin'. So, to help me power through this chapter, I've been listening to "Whenever, Wherever" by Shakira (song used above) as it was a song I loved as a little girl. As always, thank you so much for all your love and support. Wuv yous. <3**

-Noel Ross