My First Love

Intro

My life is pretty boring. I am in a constant loop of repeating the same day over and over again. Wake up, skip breakfast and have a coffee instead, go to school and learn nothing, work my shitty retail job, go see my therapist, read a few chapters of a novel at night and then sleep. I guess my friends at school help, however i ain't no social butterfly. My group at school consists of 3 people, May, Brooklyn and Abigail. Originally we had a large group but as you grow older and mature, the people you call 'friends' slowly drift away to other groups and you are left with the only real friends who actually care about your existence. But I'm not some freak who everyone stares at and talks about, people do know who i am, I'm just known as the quiet and reserved girl who has a small group of friends.
I don't participate in any extra curricular activities like sports teams, debate teams etc, I hate drama class, i suck at art and don't get me started with robotics. I told you, I have a boring life, but trust me I'm not someone to just hate on everything. I love English, reading novels, dancing, music, and writing in my journal. My school does have a dance program but i tried that in year 8 and it was the most toxic and twisted place full of girls with the most judgmental farcical expressions, that's when i first started having symptoms of anxiety. So after that traumatic experience, i decided to keep to myself as I thought it would be much easier that way, and it is. However, being by yourself all the time does get super lonely. Even when I'm sitting with my friends, i still feel so alone. Therapy does help with my anxiety, but the sadness is still there.

"Holly, its time to go"
A voice cries out from the kitchen, knowing it belongs to my mother. I put my journal away and quickly slide my leather black shoes on. I look into my mirror and stare back at my appearance. My long brown hair is sticking up all over the place as per usual. I quickly just slick it back into a pony like i usually do and head out into the kitchen.
"You know, you should wear your contacts more, you have such beautiful blue eyes" My mum states as i grab my lunch and shove it in my bag. I smile and look up at her.
"I can't be bothered to put them in, you know how long it takes me? I'd have to walk up earlier for that"
Mum rolls her eyes and laughs,
"Oh no, waking up half an hour earlier is so hard. You and your sleep!" She replies with pure joy across her face.
I laugh and give her a kiss, "ill see you after school" i say, rushing out the door.
"Wait", she follows after me, "don't forget your tie, your in year 10 now remember!" She yells, waving my tie around like its some sort of flag. I quickly grab it off her and put it on my school uniform while fast walking to my bus stop across the street. I have been in year ten for 4 months now and i still somehow forget the bloody thing.
Once I'm on the bus i see ally waving at me so i go to sit in front of her. Ally is more like an acquaintance to me, we went to the same primary school however we don't usually talk in school, just on the bus.
"How was your weekend?" She asks while fixing her hair in her little mirror she brings to school.
"It was great" i reply, knowing i did absolutely nothing, "how about you?"
Ally then goes on about how she go into a fight with her sisters blah blah. The good thing about Ally is that she loves to talk. So i just bring up subjects that i know she will talk about for the next hour so i can just sit there and pretend to listen. She's a nice person, but she's just super annoying.
The bus stops and my best friend May gets on. She plops down next to me and gives me a nod as she has her earbuds in. Our friendship is based on jokes. We have the same sense of humour, which makes our friendship so alive and fun. We can so easily switch from making jokes to talking about our problems and other crap going on in our lives. I can trust her with anything.
Realising that Ally has stopped talking, i put my earbuds in myself and put on haillee's song my Eminem.

Walking into my roll call class, i see a few students, but one that stood out to me was Hayden. Hayden has been a friend of mine since year 7, but the only time we chat in school really is in this class as he is kind of popular and plays a lot of sports. He is a really nice guy and we do have some history if you can even call it that. We dated in year 8 but it wasn't serious, i just wasn't ready. But that was 3 years ago, and the only feelings i have towards him are friendly. I sit down in my seat, which is one desk away from his and he smiles at me.
"Hey holly, i heard it was your birthday last weekend, happy birthday. Sweet 16 hey" he rolls his football across the desk towards me. I laugh at the term 'sweet 16'.
"Yep, one year older than you now loser" we both laugh and i roll his football back to him.
"Actually, its 8 months older" he replies. Smart ass.
We have always had great banter. He's a really good guy to talk too. It's weird because we wont talk all day at school, but in our roll call class, we act as though we are best friends. Even in assembly's, because we sit in our roll call class, we always sit next to each other. I don't know why our friendship is like that to be honest. But its always been that way, and i don't mind it.
Suddenly, a bag is placed in the desk between us, blocking our view of each other. I look up to see my friend Brooklyn. Brooklyn is a nice girl, but i never know if she is being fake or not, I've always felt that she's had a grudge against me because of my friendship with Hayden. They are friends too, but not as close. She has always had a crush on him, but he has never flirted back or asked her out.
Hayden and i share a look as she sits in between us, but then i look at Brooklyn and smile.
"So what are we talking about?" Brooklyn asks, Basically talking to Hayden, not even looking my way.
"Nothing really" i reply, "i just got here"
"Oh okay, well, ill be on discord tonight if you wanna play some games Hayden " she brings her attention back to Hayden, flicking her dark brown hair to one side.
"Yeah maybe, i have football training so I'm kinda busy"
"Shame" Brooklyn replies, going on her phone. Hayden sometimes plays video games with Brooklyn. But i think Hayden is just being friendly, while Brooklyn says otherwise at lunch time. "And then he said I'm really good at the game and he said we can play again another time".
The bell rings for first period and all the students walk out of the classroom. Brooklyn is out of sight and Hayden and i are the last ones to leave.
"Well, ill see you tomorrow in roll class" i say to him, giving him a fist pump.
"Will do"
i walk up to the door and step back, "ladies first" i say sarcastically. He laughs and walks out, bouncing his football on the way to his next class.

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Heyyyyyyy
I hope you enjoy this story as it is based on true events of my life and my relationship.
All the characters in this story are in fact real people, however I've had to change their names for privacy reasons.
I hope you all enjoy, and have a good night xxxxxxxxxx

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