'stunning, remarkable, entertaining.' - joris bohnson
'a real page-turner. you will never get bored of this exciting story.' - lana del armadillo
⚠️⚠️⚠️TW: words, sentences, the english language, heterophobia, cisphobia, racist language towards whit...
hi i am joris bhonson. the mysterious character that appears out of no where mid story.
anyways let me tell you a little bit about myself i was born in a country called africa wnd my parents were very world renowned famous small business owners my dad has a small business where he sells used bath water and canned sharts as souvenirs my mom has a small business where she sells slurs. did u know a fun fact about slurs is that they are the new 'in' trend atm and the youths of today are trying to collect as many slurs as possible to add to their collection its basically a craze to see who can be the most oppressed. i think its a genius idea
one day i hope to follow in my parenys foot steps and have a famous small business of my own
this is what i look like btw
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do you see those flags i am carrying well those are my peppasexual flags. i identify as peppasexual cause i have had a crush on peppa pig ever since -0th grade shes so hot i want to date her one day but for 4 hours she has been going out with a rebellious gang leader called cimon sowell 😒
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so today i woke up and put my hair into a messy bun and logged onto tikinstasnapgramtokpindiscordtwitterchatbookterest to check up on how my small business is doing. in my small business i sell aesthetic bags of air
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this is what the air that i sell looks like. isnt it so cute
i saw that a user name called Xxiixxshed_eeran.baddie.fidgetsexual.xxiixX wanted to purchase 1g of air which costs a cheap total of £799,999.99 i sent out the shipping order and took a look at her page wow she has some really pretty selfies of her self 🥺
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shes nearly as cute as peppa... i tried to attract my crush peppa pig's attention by posting a post on my faveourite app tikinstasnapgramtokpindiscordtwitterchatbookterest which was a video of me using lots of slurs 🥺 hopefully she has a slur kink
after loads of people have been ordering their necessary supplies of air from my small business i made a grand total of 0.3 pence by tbe end of the day 🥺 this is my world record i could then afford to buy a trampoline for me and my ugly daughters that i hate called keyuraa and chames jarles. this is us enjoying our time on our new trampoline likea happy family 😃 we had lots of fun jumping on the tramplione while i puy on my all time favourite song build a bitch by prince harry
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