𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐊𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆

𝟎𝟎𝟕

"𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙖 𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢
𝙊𝙝 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥
𝙄 𝙡𝙞𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙭𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪
𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙢𝙚 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪."

𝘚𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘉𝘢𝘣𝘺 𝘚𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱 - 𝘉𝘙𝘖𝘖𝘋𝘚

▲ ▲ ▲ ▲

You woke up in a cold sweat. Clinging to the thin sheets pooling in your lap, you reached up to feel for your thundering heartbeat. You glanced around at all of the other cots in a panic, suppressing a gasp. For a terrifying handful of seconds, you'd forgotten entirely where you were.

This darkness wasn't the darkness of the open fields, littered with starlight and the sweet chirping of crickets. This dark was artificial. The only thing humming in the air was the faraway generators that breathed life into the glowing red lights over the entryway.

"What's the matter, sunshine?" Peter groaned in the bed to your left. You scrambled to press your back against the wall. He was rolled over to face you—his bare torso peeking out from underneath his blanket. Everyone else appeared dead asleep.

"Sorry," you whispered, easing yourself back into your sleeping position. Who knew what embarrassing thing you did to wake him up. How many other people heard it too? You'd be lucky to get away with just the usual dirty looks at breakfast in the morning. "Wait. Sunshine?"

"I've been running through flower power nicknames this whole time. I think I'm sticking with sunshine."

You nodded distantly and leaned your head back against the cool cement wall. You missed home. Twitching your fingers on the pillow beside your head, you could almost feel the blades of tall grass brushing against your skin.

"Nightmare?" Peter asked, voice muffled by his pillow.

"Yeah."

Your nightmare wasn't really a nightmare though. Just a memory. You and June sneaking off over the long summer to watch the meteor shower from the edge of the apple orchard. It was one of your favorite moments that you spent alone with her. But now she was in Erudite making new memories with her new, smart friends. And you were here, whispering in the dark with a snarky ex-Candor. That was the real nightmare.

"You homesick or something?"

You don't answer. Peter's question lingers in the air for a moment before he speaks again. "I won't tell anyone if you are, by the way."

For the first time in the very few hours that you've known Peter Hayes, he sounds sincere. Sighing, you laid back down and pulled the thin covers over your shoulders. "A little," you admit.

He gulped and nodded. His body was a silhouette of dim red light in the semi-dark. "That's okay," he assured you. "I am too. I mean, my family was the worst but...I still miss it."

"Yeah," you agreed. While you could never say that you hated your family, there was something there that you always suspected was different from the other members of your faction.

Your parents were just like any other citizen of Amity. They raised you, fed you, put a roof over your head. But you never loved them any more than you loved your leader, Johanna, or the children that you taught or the horses that you would visit in the stables.

Your mother, Celeste, taught you all of the values of your faction. She patched up the knees of your dresses when you tripped and fell while Felix, your father, greeted you with a pat on the head after arriving home from a long day in the fields. Living with your parents was like biting into stale bread. Hard, barely satisfying, but it kept you alive.

Peter chuckled a bit at his own memories. "You know what my mom used to say about Amity?"

"I can take a wild guess."

"She said 'those who seek peace will deceive in order to keep waters calm.'"

You pondered this for a moment or two. You never really considered how other factions viewed Amity other than the general stereotype that you were all weak—which never made any sense to you because almost everyone you knew had spent time working in the fields at one point or another, getting strong. You could even haul a twelve-pound sack of oats over one shoulder if need be.

"Do you miss them? Your parents?" You asked, trying to find a reason to feel guilty for not missing your own.

"Me? God no. They're the reason I left."

Wow. Blunt answers from Peter tonight.

You thought that might be the end of it. But then he stopped grinning and shifted his gaze to you again. "Why did you leave? Everyone's dying to know."

Yeah, myself included.

"There...There was nothing for me in Amity anymore."

Which was only half true. There was plenty left for you. Your family, your job, your future. But everything you truly cared about abandoned you on the day of the Choosing Ceremony. That was why you left.

"It was an accident, wasn't it?" Peter's voice suddenly sounded hollow. His whisper echoed off the tall cold walls. "You were going for Abnegation."

Your silence confirmed his theory and he hummed. You could only pray that the entire batch of initiates wouldn't know everything about your life by the time you woke up the next morning.

"Let's hope that's the only mistake you make here," he muttered, more to himself than you.

Blinking quickly through the dark, you pulled the pillow down and hugged it close to your chest. You could convince yourself that this was just like falling asleep in your old bedroom, but even the pillows felt different. It was unfair.

"I'll be right here when you need me, sunshine." Was the last thing that Peter whispered to you before falling back asleep. Not if. When. Because it was obvious even then that this wouldn't be the last midnight talk that took place between you two. 

(A/N: WHY IS THIS SO SHORT. Anyway. I don't know why I expected more ppl to be reading Divergent fanfiction in 2021--almost 2022. I would kill to experience the fandom culture of 2015 again. Literally. I love Peter. I love Miles Teller. That's all. OH!! THE NEXT CHAPTER IS ERIC POV!!)