𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐊𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆

𝟎𝟏𝟗

"𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙂𝙤𝙙 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙨, 𝙄'𝙢 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙙𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙄 𝙗𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙣𝙤𝙬.
𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙂𝙤𝙙 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙨, 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝙣𝙤𝙬.
𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪.
𝙄𝙩 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙣𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙄 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙬."

𝘔𝘺 𝘉𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥 - 𝘌𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘎𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨

▲ ▲ ▲ ▲

The next morning, when you awoke to Edward being dragged out of the infirmary in a pair of thick iron handcuffs with a fresh bandage over his eye, your friends were right there to fill the sudden void of space. They slipped through the cracks in security to make their way to your side. It was the first time you were able to see most of them since you were first carried out of the sparring ring and thankfully, nothing appeared to have changed much in two weeks.

Will, Christina, Al, and Tris. Everyone except for Peter was present and accounted for, eyeing your steadily healing wounds with mixed pity and hope.

"Where's Petey?" you asked, making room on the bed for Christina and Tris to sit on either side of you. A subtle glance passed between Al and Will, who stood rigidly at the end of your cot. Al's eyes were wet and wide as he stared down at the thick white bandage wrapped around your middle. For some reason, he could never picture you recovering from the incident. In his mind, you remained bloodied, bruised, and broken, draped over his arms as he carried you to the infirmary under Eric's watchful eye. 

"Probably off punching something," Will supplied, clearing his throat to break the sudden tension. "Everyone's stressed about the assessment coming up." 

They were quick to change the topic to the next phase of training. You all had only heard rumors about how intense it was. Discipline of the body was one thing. Discipline of the mind? Of the thought? It sounded borderline impossible.

When the nurses wandered back into the room around dinner time, they shooed out the boys. No mixed company was allowed after visiting hours. Christina groaned and slipped out of bed to follow them to the door. "We have cake for dessert tonight. I'll bring you a slice if there's any left!"

You smiled and waved until she disappeared through the door. Turning to Tris, you both exchanged a private giggle. You both knew she was only following after Will, who she hadn't quit talking about since the very first week. Neither of you would be surprised if they made their relationship official before the end of the summer.

"Sit up," she said, guiding you into a comfortable position with your pillow folded over your lap. "It looks like you haven't touched your hair since you got here."

You bit your lip to stifle your laughter. Tris couldn't sound mean if she tried. "The nurses wash it for me every other day."

"Not well," she quipped, glancing around to make sure none of them were present to hear her. With nimble fingers, she began combing through your knotted locks and separating your hair into neat, even sections.

Parts of your home faction stay with you long after you defect. Christina was painfully honest to a fault, but the inconsideration washed away pretty quickly. Tris was a textbook Abnegation girl. Selfless, even if she rejected it. Stifling, even though she thought she wasn't. You wished you could be more like her, seeing Dauntless as a way out rather than a terrible trap that you've all been caught in.

She began humming behind you. It was a soft, gentle sound. Like a sea breeze. You've been unhooked from the machinery that was once the sole thing keeping you alive. Your arms felt tingly from needle pinpricks, but you felt more alive than you had the entire time you'd been admitted there.

Your mind kept circling back to what Tori told you in the shadows of the tattoo parlor. You were different. You were dangerous — a threat to Chicago civilization. A threat to your friends and family.

Some part of you wished she never would have told you the truth about your results. You would have much rather been a weak Dauntless who belonged in Amity than a Divergent who didn't belong anywhere. You never felt so isolated, so alone.

Awkwardly, you leaned your elbows over your knees and cleared your throat. "Hey, Tris?"

"Hm?" She hummed, not breaking her concentration as she spun your hair up into an effortlessly tight Abnegation bun. It was like muscle memory, the way she flicked her wrist and created perfection. You faltered, picking at the edge of your pillow. "Do you...Do you know what a Divergent is?"

Her fingers froze midway down your back and the bun spun out of place, letting your hair fall loose around your shoulders. "Yes," she whispered, her voice suddenly cold.

"Oh. Okay."

"Why?"

"No reason."

"(Y/N)." You felt the cot shift as she rose to her feet and moved to stand directly in front of you. Her eyes were narrow and serious. "Why?"

"I dunno, honestly." Abort. Abort. Abort. "I'm just curious, that's all."

"(Y/N), what were your test results?"

Just like that, all the efforts you made into fitting into Dauntless came crashing down around you. You winced as you spoke, wishing the pillow in your lap would grow ten times its size and engulf you whole.

"Abnegation."

The lie came easily to you. It was the most commonly asked question for the first few days. Only, for most people the answer was obvious.

Tris paused, her eyebrow quirked. "And?"

"...Erudite, Candor, and Amity."

She took a deep breath, pushing away from the bed and cupping a hand over her forehead. "Oh my God."

"Please, you can't tell anyone," you scrambled across the cot to follow her as she paced. "I promise I'm not dangerous! I'm doing my best to be Dauntless, I swear. I'm trying so hard!"

Tris immediately reached for your hands, clasping them in yours and shaking her head quickly. "No, no, no, no, shhh. It's okay, It's okay. I'm just like you. I'm Divergent."

You blinked dully at her confession. The weight of her words took a moment to sink in. "But...your test results...?"

"Erudite, Abnegation, and Dauntless," she smiled at the confused expression painted over your face. "Tori told you, didn't she? During the Aptitude Test?"

"No," you coughed, moving to the side so she could sit beside you once more. "She–uh–She actually waited a minute to clue me in."

This entire time, the answer to your prayers has been sitting beside you in the mess hall and putting your hair into neat braids before training. It was so obvious — no other Abnegation would dare to raise her voice to authority figures or take the last slice of cake for herself at dinner. But then again, no other Abnegation would defect to Dauntless as she had.

You felt your eyes begin to well up with relieved tears. "What are we gonna do?"

"You," she said, eyes zeroed in on yours as she pet your hair back behind your ear, "are going to focus on getting better and finishing the rest of your training. I'll figure out everything else. Just leave it to me."

Words failed you. You could only smile and nod as Tris once again captured you in a tight hug. "But you're right," she mumbled into your ear. "We can't tell anyone. This is our secret."

"Our secret," you parrot, pulling back to offer her your outstretched pinky finger. She immediately wrapped hers around it and squeezed your hands together, a determined smile etched onto her face. 

(A/N: I heart Tris. The next chapter is #drama. We're finally getting out of the freaking infirmary. I stg we've been stuck here forever. Anyway, here's this. Enjoy! Happy reading!)