Konosuba Harem x SolidSnake reader

Exorcise, huh?

You pawned Kyoya's sword. Fuck the dude...

Winter was approaching and you were forced to snuggle up to Aqua to keep warm. (Soldiers are forced to do this sometimes when cold enough) nothing weird. Or so you thought.

It was a cold morning and you were trying to be warm with Aqua.

(Y/N): Aqua, we need to go stay somewhere else.

Aqua: That is true. But staying in the stables with you isn't so bad!

(Y/N): I struggle to understand why you think that.

You went to Wiz's shop to pick up some cigars.

Wiz: Hi, (Y/N)!

Aqua: She is a lich!

(Y/N): Lich, huh?

Wiz: I am, but I'm harmless ill never hurt anyone!

Aqua: Yeah right!

She started attacking her forcing you to pull Aqua off of her.

(Y/N): You're acting like such a child.

Aqua: *pouty face* But she's a lich!

(Y/N): She won't hurt anyone. I've been coming here to buy cigars since I came here so I would know if she was harmful.

Aqua: Hmph! Fine!

She sat down and commanded her to make tea. Kazuma was sweeping and thinking of ways to run the shop. You sat next to Aqua and made a few bullets.

You did this by concentrating and clenching your fist. When you were done, it would form bullets in your fist. You did this to prepare for battle. You had rubber bullets for most situations and enchanted bullets for quests.

Kazuma: Why didn't I just pick a cool power like you?

(Y/N): Aren't you having fun? Living a peaceful life... Running a shop in a fantasy world with a pretty woman?

Aqua: Pretty?! She's a lich!

(Y/N): Why are you so angry?

Aqua: Because you called a lich pretty!

(Y/N): There's nothing wrong with that.

Aqua: Now you have to make it up to me!

She said crossing her arms while looking away from you.

(Y/N): What do you want me to say? You're prettier? You want me to say you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen?

Aqua started blushing when you said that.

Aqua: Ok, we're even...

Kazuma: *smirk* Heh.

A man walked in and asked Wiz for assistance. Aqua said you guys could help. You guys had to exorcise a mansion.

Your party was in front of the mansion...

(Y/N): Look at the bright side. Now we can have a place to stay for the night. Good thinking, Aqua! *thumbs up*

She started to blush and smirk.

Aqua: Well you know me... Lady Aqua, always helping out.

You walked in a cleaned the place up with your party.

Darkness: This is starting to look really good.

Megumin: It looks great. I've never lived in a mansion before.

Aqua: Me neither.

(Y/N): We've still got work to do. It's getting late so let's go to bed for the night.

You slept in a bed. It was the nicest bed you've slept in your life.

(Y/N): *comfy sigh* This is so great. I'm not sure if I could get up in the morning.

You fell asleep almost immediately. You woke up and saw a doll sitting on a stool next to your bed.

(Y/N): A doll? Am I having one of those nightmares again? Nah, this feels too real.

You got up and picked up the doll to look at it. It wasn't moving so you put it down and went to Aqua's room to see if she noticed anything weird. You peeked in and saw that Megumin was the only one there.

(Y/N): Where's Aqua?

Megumin: She's probably out using "turn undead".

(Y/N): Turn undead, huh?

Megumin: I had to use the bathroom and I wanted to ask if she could keep watch.

(Y/N): Ah, I'll keep watch. Comrades watch over comrades.

Megumin: Ok.

You stood outside waiting for her to finish.

Megumin: Are you still there?

(Y/N): Yeah.

Megumin: Are you sure? What if you're just a ghost pretending?

(Y/N): If I were a ghost then why would I be standing out here and not trying to bother you?

Megumin: Fair point.

After a moment of silence...

Megumin: Can you sing to calm me down?

(Y/N): Sing? I don't really wanna sing right now.

Megumin: Please.

(Y/N): *sigh*

Then you noticed the dolls peaking around the corner.

(Y/N): Megumin? Can you maybe hurry up? They're out here with murderous intent...

Megumin: I'm not done!

They started charging you and you started flinging them around while they engulfed your body keeping you from moving.

(Y/N): Gah!!!!! Megumin!!!!

Megumin: (Y/N)?! Talk to me! (Y/NNN)!!!

Game over

...

(Y/N): Konosuba!!!

...

Then Aqua swooped in and saved you. She could barely see you, but she could hear you yelling.

Aqua: Turn undead!

They all turned into normal dolls and quiet attacking you.

(Y/N): Gah!

You flung them off of you and you ran over to Aqua and Megumin who had just got done.

Megumin: Are you alright?

(Y/N): *thumbs up* Think so. Thanks, Aqua.

Aqua: Heh, you're welcome!

She ran around the house using Turn Undead and you just watched as she took care of it.

(Y/N): Good night.

...

Aqua: Konosuba.

...

The next day...

Luna: For your contribution to exorcising the mansion, here is your payment.

(Y/N): *salute* Thank you, ma'am.

You walked off with the money and your party back to the mansion.

(Y/N): Looks like we got a place to stay, huh?

Aqua: Yep!

Darkness: It was very nice of the landowner to let us stay free of charge.

(Y/N): *puffs cigar* Yeah...