Konosuba Harem x SolidSnake reader

A Dream For This Soldier

You were sleeping in bed sleep talking.

(Y/N): *groan* There are two snipers on my right commander...

You felt something rustle under the sheets.

(Y/N): Huh?!

You lifted the sheets and saw Aqua snuggling up next to you.

(Y/N): Aqua?!

Aqua: It's cold!

(Y/N): Fine, if you're that cold...

You put the sheets over her and she snuggled up next to you.
The
(Y/N): Eh...

The next morning...

You got Aqua off of you and you put a cigar in your mouth and went for a walk.

You were walking and you saw a couple of adventurers (dust and Keith) standing in an alleyway

(Y/N): What are you guys up to?

Keith: Sh!

Dust: Come here!

They dragged you into the alleyway.

Keith: Have you heard about the succubus shop that gives you erotic dreams?

(Y/N): Erotic dreams?

Dust: Yeah! They give you erotic dreams that feel so real!

(Y/N): Real, huh?

Keith: We have an extra coupon if you need it...

(Y/N): I have a bit of pent-up energy if you know what I mean. Count me in.

You walked into the shop and saw a ton of succubus women.

(Y/N): They look ok but none are my type...

Succubus: Right this way.

You and the others followed and you sat in some kinda booth.

Mohawk guy: Welcome!

(Y/N): You come here too, huh?

Mohawk guy: You know it. See ya around.

(Y/N): See ya.

After a while, a succubus explained it all to you

(Y/N): I see. Some advance magic here. I'll fill this out...

You noticed at your right Kazuma.

Kazuma: (Y/N)?

(Y/N): You too?

Kazuma: Heh, I come here often...

You filled out the forum.

(Y/N): (favorite body figure) and (favorite hair color)... Maybe a (favorite personality). Done. Can't believe I'm losing my virginity in a dream. Heh...

I'm gonna write the rest of this while in drugs so if it's weird blame the drugs... Don't do drugs!!!

You went home thinking about that dream. You weren't sure if cigars would affect it but you tried not to puff them.

You got home and the girls had a whole meal made.

Megumin: Ah, welcome home.

(Y/N): Hey.

Darkness: My family brought this crab. It's a housewarming gift of sorts.

(Y/N): Housewarming gift, huh?

You sat down and cracked open one of the legs.

(Y/N): *bite* Damn, that's good!

You went for more.

Megumin: You must like it.

(Y/N): Pretty tasty...

Aqua: I heard that if you put whine in the crab, it tastes really good!

(Y/N): I'm off to take a long bath. I'm tired.

Megumin: Already?

(Y/N): Yeah.

You went into the bath and relaxed. Not long after, you fell asleep and woke up in the middle of the night.

(Y/N): *groan* The enemy has spotted us. Evacuate...

You woke up and saw darkness naked.

(Y/N): Huh?

Darkness: (Y/N)?!

(Y/N): Not what I asked for but this will do.

Darkness: What are you going on about?!

(Y/N): Shut up and wash my back soldier!

Darkness: What?!

(Y/N): Did I stutter?! I said to wash my back lieutenant!

Darkness: *moan* What's gotten into you?!

(Y/N): Do I have to result to beating you?! I said scrub my back damnit! I never asked for a stubborn girl!

Darkness: Fine!

She started scrubbing your back and when she was done...

(Y/N): I've grown to take a likening to you, lieutenant.

Darkness: What?

(Y/N): How about we...

You started to grope her and she started to let out a long moan.

You heard Aqua yelling about something.

(Y/N): Damn.

You ran over into the hall to see her yelling at a succubus. Then it hit you...

(Y/N): Oh no.

Darkness: That succubus has taken over, (Y/N)! He's been going on like a military general trying to seduce me!

Aqua: Now your gonna get it!

You ran in front of the succubus and got in a fighting stance.

(Y/N): Go while you still can!

She started to run away and you kept blocking hit from the girls while the succubus got away. When she got away, you stopped booking their hits and walked off.

Aqua: I can't believe this!

(Y/N): I'm just gonna say that I was seduced by her and leave it at that.

You went to bed hoping for the best...