Starry Eyed

Chapter 3. Genesis

"The battle hasn't ended yet, princess Y/N." Obi Wan said, sitting down on one of the benches near the daffodil field I had been pacing up and down for almost an hour, asking him non-stop about the on-going battle between the Separatists and the Republic. "Sounds like we're winning however." I let myself fall on the seat next to Obi Wan, trying to look put together when in reality I felt my heart was about to explode. I felt guilty about the battle, after all I had been the one to suggest an allegiance with the Republic in the first place. I tended to disguise my feelings with humour and sarcasm, but this time It was simply impossible to feel nothing but self-hatred. "You look exhausted. Maybe you should rest." Obi Wan interrupted my thoughts with a concerned look.

"I- I can't." I said, avoiding eye contact.

"I sense your guilt." Obi Wan said. "This is not your fault, you know that, right?"

"You have no idea." I tried to seem calm and tough, but the way he read my emotions all of a sudden made me crumble. I left the garden with shaky hands, tears prickling my eyes as I walked down the endless corridors of the palace. 

I slammed the door of my room shut and tried to collect myself. I felt so impotent and weak. Everything I worked for seemed to have blown up in my face.

After I had managed to calm down, I took out from under the tiles of my wardrobe the box that contained my diary alongside other past memories in the form of letters and other smaller items. I went through the notes of encouragement my aunt Iris would leave me when she was still around; She was the only one who supported me and helped me through my journey to become a senator, and her words always lifted my spirits and gave me the strength to continue when I needed it, just like at that moment. She was taken away by what I thought must have been Separatists some months prior, her hurtful departure still present every day of my life; I always thought she disappeared because she knew too much, and this started a fire in me that could only be put out if the culpable was found. 

As I went through the memories, I understood I couldn't just give up if I wanted a change. If I wanted Suraniat to be a Republic planet instead of being taken over by those treacherous bastards, I must understand that battles are an inevitable part of the game, and that having a Jedi by my side could be highly beneficial.

I wiped the remaining tears with the back of my hand and clumsily gathered everything to put it back in the box, figuring it wouldn't be long until Obi Wan or a royal guard would come looking around for me. That's when I noticed something strange in the last letter my aunt sent me. There was an area of the letter, that seemed to have something written over it with no ink; As if my aunt was writing a different paper on top of it, and whatever she was writing traced over the letter. I held the letter closer to my eyes to try to decipher what was written, but I couldn't quite make it out. I lifted it up in front of the window and squinted my eyes.

"Cons- Conspirator?" I said to myself. If this was a clue that could help me insert myself in her investigations, I had no doubt that I would do all that was in my hand to find out the reason she was taken. "Bur-" I continued reading the next word, but my concentration broke the second I heard loud pounding sounds coming from the door. I quickly gathered everything and slid the box under the tiles.

"Your royal highness?" One of the guards said from behind. "The Jedi is looking for you."

"I'll be right there." I stood up and looked around to make sure I had put everything away, when I came across one of the necklaces my aunt had given me a while ago. Trying to not waste any more time, I threw it over my neck and walked out the door past the guards, in direction back to the fields. 

"General." I said as I approached him. He had remained in the same path, leaning on the fence in front of the daffodils. He turned around to face me.

"If I offended you, I apologise. It wasn't my intent-" He started before I cut him off.

"I'm very sorry for storming off." I fidgeted with my fingers nervously. "It was childish."

"I understand." He smiled warmly. "You must be under a lot of pressure. I won't bring it up again if that makes you feel better."

"On the contrary, I feel that, now that you and I will spend a lot of time together..." I placed my hand on the fence and looked towards the yellow flowers. "Maybe you could help me out with some internal affairs, which could potentially concern the Republic." He raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Of course, only if you desire."

"I would definitely like to hear more." He smirked, and for a short while, the daffodils in front of us felt more vibrant than ever before. A feeling of excitement, yet fear to the unknown rose inside of me. I understood at that moment that a lot was going to change, and that it was up to me to make a difference.