When Minho Was There • Minsung

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That's why I want to die.

✧

Jisung was five years old when his mom died.

He remembered sitting on a large chair, tucked away in the corner of the room, while the adults discussed what to do with him.

Nobody wanted him, and Jisung knew that. Yet there was nothing he could do, so he just sat there silently hugging his cat plushie, round eyes staring at the people whom he once called family.

He saw his grandpa, hunched over his cane. He saw his aunts and his uncle. All these people he thought loved him, but it turns out they didn't.

"I don't have long to live. Typically, you're the ones who-"

"Still talking about that?" His uncle interrupted him, taking a drag of his cigarette. "We have already settled the matter." He pointed next to him, where his wife stood, cradling their newborn baby in her arms.

It was his mother's funeral. They wanted things to be dealt with and settled as quickly as possible, but it was difficult because Jisung was alive.

Jisung's eyes traveled across the room. They used to be filled with joy—the happiness he felt when he spent time with his mother. Everything had been taken away from him, and the world was too big for him to figure things out alone.

He stroked the fur of his gray cat plushie. He inhaled the scent of his mother's perfume, which it carried.

He drowned out the voices, too many overlapping. He just wanted to be home; he wanted his mom.

"I feel bad for him, but.."

"It'll be best for him if you two..."

✧

Jisung didn't know how long he'd been crying, but at some point he'd fallen asleep. His first instinct was to go back to the festival; that's where he was supposed to meet Setsu later. Unfortunately, it seemed too late to go back, and he didn't want to head home early either.

He wiped his runny nose with the sleeve of his yukata. The garment was completely ruined, but he'd deal with the consequences later.

The marsh was quiet; not many people or animals were out; it looked like it was only him. Across the water, he could see the neighboring town. There were lots more buildings, and even a lighthouse.

Why am I stuck in the wetlands? A place where most modern inventions hadn't even come to.

It was only when Jisung heard rustling in the bushes close to him that he stood up, brushing off the sand from his yukata.

"I'd better get home."

He pushed his way through the tall grass, beginning to climb back up the sandy dunes. Then, he paused. There, a few yards away from him, was Changbin's boat, the oars neatly stacked in the center of it.

That was odd. Normally the boat was tied up to the dock, so what was it doing on the outskirts of the marsh?

"Did someone row it here?"

No, that was impossible. He remembered seeing Changbin and Yongbok at the festival; they were busy making out; obviously, they didn't have time to—they were making out?! Jisung recalled seeing them at the shrine, bodies pressed together and all.