Four

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Part Four
Love, Family or Career?

A group of reporters are now at the lobby, waiting for me to go down and answer their damn questions, yes, I accepted it, her offer to have a closure with me. Because I still love her. The reason why I let her go years ago, it is because of my parents and they are against on our relationship. Career or Love? Family or Her? I have been thinking about this, all this time, I keep my secrets safe and never let the media know about it.

Because way back then, she is only a college student, while I'm an actress, I promised my self before that, 5 years from now I will find her and marry her as soon as possible, I don't care what the media says about us, as long as we are together. Before I am weak and don't know about love well, and now, I am ready for a commitment and take a risk on everything. Because of this, my best friend Lisa, taught me about love, because of her relationship with Jennie.

"Jisoo! Come on, let's go now, we have to go to the fire exit for them not to find you once you are already on the parking lot, the guards will protect you away from them. Wear your sunglasses, mask and hat. Also you jacket."

I nodded.

I went outside with my guards and headed to the fire exit, the guards are protecting me from the camera flash because the nurses are taking a picture of me, and I hate it. Only my girl can do that to me. When we enter the fire exit, we immediately move fast to get away from the medias.

Ten minutes later, when we are done and almost to the parking lot, I saw a paparazzi coming from us, I started to run and the guards are with me too. And I get in to my van and let the guards close the van door.

"Did you already bought what I told you?"

"Yes, Miss Kim."

"Good. To the law firm of Rosé."

Meanwhile with Rosé.

I'm waiting for my order, while waiting, I am doing my job as an attorney, investigating and checking he paper works well if I'm doing the right thing to do, I want to have a justice to my client and I am half away done to my unsolved case. Then I heard a knock coming from my office, maybe it is my food, I'm really hungry now and my tummy is growling like a lion.

I take a five steps on my walk and hold my door knob, and when I open it I saw an unfamiliar figure on my office. She is short, her face is not really exposed and I don't know who is she or who she was. Someone beside her is carrying a box of foods, maybe for me?

"You came."

"Yeah."

"How are you?"

"I'm doing better. Nothing hurts. Oh and I know you haven't eat your lunch yet, come and seat, eat with me."

Back to Jisoo's Point of View.

You can do this Jisoo.

You know, I really really practice this for me to say it properly in front of her. And I can feel it that she still love me. I hope I'm still the one you love and I hope I'm not late to have a second chance with you, my love.

I sighed.

This is it.

"Let's have a closure. You know, our fans said we look better together since you are a lawyer while I am an actor."

I said as I ate my chicken, using my bare hands, but an unexpected reply coming from her made my world stop for a moment and made me stop eating my chicken.

"We're always better together, but this time as friends." She said, not letting have an eye contact to me, she is like... annoyed. "Not all closure leads to comeback, it leads to pain. So whenever we continue this closure, you are just going to hurt yourself from me."

"Are you taken?"

"No, I'm not with anyone. But it is not you anymore."

"I know you still love me, I can see it on your eyes, please come back home, my love."

"I wanted it to be with you, I really did, but I'm not happy to be with you anymore, as my lover. I still love you, but I love myself more. I already moved on Jisoo, everything, I don't feel any sparks when it I am with you."

I flabbergasted, this is more painful that my pain that I have received from them. It is like, I have been stabbed thousand times on my heart, I'm broken hearted again.

"A-are you... happy?" I bit my lower lip, forcing my self not to let the tears on my eyes fall going to my face, I don't want to let my emotions handle me today. I'm not yet ready.

"Yes. I am happy on what I am or what I have today. Thanks to you."

Oh.

I have a chance but I can't.

I can't have her.

Because she is already done.

With me.

Do you even know how much I regret leaving you? Every day, weeks, months, and years or seconds, I regret it and I missed you, Rosé. But here I am, keeping our promises individually. I promised to stay, yet I stay, I'm still here loving you silently.

Do you even know how much I've received pain from my family? They are against on our relationship, they are the reason why we broke up, they threatened you, that is why I let you go. If only I didn't do that and fight for our relationship, we are now having a family and do what we wanted to do together.

Did you even think how many times I tried to commit suicide? But I didn't continue it, because all I have to think is always you, my heart always beat when I saw and heard your name through media.

This is what I wanted to say to her, Rosé, but I couldn't, because I'm scared of death that I might hurt her... again.

AGAIN.

Yes, again.

I hurt her thrice not only once, that time when I have a film that I haven't told her about it, I didn't know that there was a kissing scene and it is not part of the script too, which is I hate it, the kiss and that boy, that boy is the second reason why we almost broke up. And I didn't tell her about my film to her it is because I want to surprise her but I was the one who got surprised, she saw me kissing someone who is actually my work mate or the leading man. But still, she gave me a second chance just to save us, our relationship.

"N-no... problem." I said, I hurriedly get up on my chair and took my bag, I fix my self before I hold the door knob for me to leave. "I have to go now, I have to finish filming my on going series with Hae-in. Thanks for the talk and telling me that, I appreciate it too!" I said before I left her at her office alone.

The truth is, I am leaving not because I have a film to do, but I can't handle this pain anymore, I feel numb in my heart and can't feel anything. And about the film, Hae-in and I canceled it, we discontinued it. Because Hae-in is also busy with his girlfriend and I am busy with my girlfriend, no, erase, with my ex-girlfriend too, he even supported and helped me to have a closure with her. But I ended up being like this.

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