"If only you cared" (tommyinnit angst)

Part 17:When things get tough:

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Tw:⚠️mentions of depression,mentions of suicide,crying,seizure,voices,weight loss,swearing,self doubt,pills,intrusive thoughts⚠️:Tw

Nobody's POV:

Tommy was healing...

It was great!

When Tommy finally opened his eyes and started talking it felt like we were on cloud 9.

He was so full of joy and he had the biggest smile I think I have ever seen on him.

After all the doctors had calmed down they ran Tommy through some tests,one of them being his motor skills.

Tommy couldn't walk...

He could barely be able to stand up without wobbling on his feet,let alone trying to walk.The doctors also said Tommy had some brain damage.The affects of that would cause affects to his speech,motor and now he was starting to have seizures.

Though things where going.....well pretty shit,Tommy still had a smile on his face.He still was optimistic and hopeful.He would bring us up even when we shouldn't have been the ones who where sad.

He honestly was the strongest..

Or so we thought.

Tommy's POV:
I was suffering.

To put it slightly I was trying to be happy.I couldn't imagine how much stress everyone had to go through and I didn't want to stress them out more.

I would put a fake smile on everyday when they would come and visit and even when they would FaceTime.It was tiring but I managed.The hardest thing was the laugh.

When I fake laugh,it is very obvious so while I was alone in my room I would practise.Eventually it sounded like the actual laugh but it still had some work to do.

My mental health was declining rapidly.I couldn't walk,it hurt to talk and I was having terrifying seizures that would send me into full blown panic attacks from the stress.I was so stressed about my dad comming back that I wouldn't be able to sleep.The stress made me feel sick which then involved with me not being able to eat.The doctors had noticed my loss of weight but just settled with 'his body is just adjusting'.

Everyday felt like a struggle and even though I knew that I could turn to my friends or ask the doctors to take me to a onsite therapist I just couldn't bring myself to ask.

All the things my dad had said to me about me being a waste of space and time and that no one cares brought my self worth and confidence down so much.

I was going to be aloud out in another two weeks as long as they managed to be able to keep my seizures at bay.I got told I was gonna have them for life and that yes,it will be hard but 'I'm so tough and strong that I'll get through it'

'Yea bullshit'....

I could feel my body getting to its Breaking point were I would do something so stupid and regret it.I was struggling so much with voices and them being so horrible to me.I wanted to just run away and leave all my problems at that hospital and some how create a spell to give to my friends and anyone who knew me to forget about me.

I felt like such a burden.

A waste of space

A forgettable soul

I didn't want to be alive to be frank.I just couldn't anymore....

Wilburs POV:
Over the past two weeks of Tommy waking up I noticed how it seemed that he was loosing his colour.Not literally but he seemed to be getting more depressed with each day.Obviously I didn't want to assume but it seemed like Tommy wanted to be alone more often.Which maybe he could just want after having everyone fuss over him,But knowing Tommy he loves attention.....