Seen - Ruel Van Dijk (Completed)

Chapter 18 - Where did you go?

Ruel's POV (A/N I won't do this too often, this is just so you can see how Ruel is feeling atm:))

I didn't know what I was doing. I couldn't get attached to her, not when I was going to do this to her. It was selfish. The kiss. But the glimmer in her eyes, it was ineffable. I had to kiss her. I had to. I wish I hadn't though, because now I was addicted. I needed her, I needed the sugary taste of her lips again. But I couldn't, I couldn't lead her on. Not more than I was already going to.

I wanted to cry, because now she was sitting in front of me with the most beautiful look of adoration washing through her exquisitely brown eyes. And I had to take it and crush it to pieces. I wanted to stroke her hair and hold her close and breathe in her scent, but I had to push her away and leave her. I could only wish I hadn't agreed to 'date' her that unfortunate night, because then I wouldn't have to hurt her. I wished I could tell her everything and tell her how none of this was her fault, but I couldn't. I knew she would think it was her fault, when it was all mine. It was always mine. And now I had no idea what to do or say to her, because it might be the last time I ever could.

So I did the only thing I could do without pouring my feelings onto her, or crying. I planted a small kiss on her forehead.

"I'm so sorry," I said softly, getting up off the couch and leaving her there, undoubtedly with a million questions.

Bri's POV

"I'm so sorry," Ruel said softly, leaving me alone on the couch. Sorry for what? He hadn't done anything, except make me fall even deeper in love with him, if that was possible. And he couldn't possibly be apologising for that, because he had no idea. Or did he? I didn't know what to think anymore. I wanted to call for him to come back, to hug me tight and never let me go. But I knew if I did, I would only make him break down again. And I couldn't do that to him, not again. So I stayed where I was, swallowing the questions floating around in my head.

I grabbed the nearest blanket off the end of the couch and wrapped it around my now freezing body. I didn't bother to change out of my clothes, or pick up my probably broken phone because I needed to rinse Ruel out of my head, even if it was just for one night.

- -

When I awoke it was not morning. The living room was pitch black except for the small white gleam of the moonlight shining through the window. I dragged my wrist up to check my watch. 2:02. I never woke up in the middle of the night, so this was peculiar. But from the second I woke up, I could tell, something was wrong. Something was very very wrong. I had a lump in my throat and a tickle in my stomach, the kind you feel before standing up in front of a crowd of people. The energy in my apartment felt different. Cold, bare, for say. Immediately I knew something was wrong with Ruel. He had this warmth that always seemed to give the apartment a completely different vibe. Like a warm hug after a cold night.

"Ruel?" I called blindly, getting up from the couch.

No response.

"Ruel?" I said, louder this time, my pace quickening as I strode towards to bedroom.

I turned the frosty handle to the bedroom as fast as my hands would move. I blinked my eyes quickly, willing for them to adjust to the light. Once they did, I saw that the bed was empty. It was made as if nobody had touched it since I had lived there.

My heartbeat quickened as I started to panic.

"Ruel?" I exasperated desperately, pulling open the door to the ensuite. It too was empty. I rushed aimlessly around my empty apartment, calling for Ruel. The more I called out to him with no response, the more I wanted to melt to the floor and drown in my own tears.

I pulled out my phone, searching for a text, a call, something. But there was nothing. Nothing at all. I pulled up my messages to see that Ruel had blocked me. He knew. He knew I would worry. He knew I would try to call.

You might say 'he might've just left for the night, maybe it was urgent'. But you would be wrong. Ruel would leave me a note, send me a text, leave me a sign he was coming back. But he didn't. He just left.

That's why he kissed me. That's why he said sorry before he left me on the couch. He knew it. He knew he was going to leave. I couldn't believe it. There were still so many things I wanted to to tell him, still so many moments I wanted to share with him, so many hugs I wanted to give him. I had failed to tell him I loved him. And now I couldn't. Because he was gone. And I didn't know when or if he'd come back.

I found myself melting back onto the couch where I started, this time with tears starting to stream down my face. Through the blurriness of my tears, I noticed something I hadn't seen before. The figure of a sheet of paper, nearly set on the coffee table in front of me. I grabbed the paper so quick I nearly tore it in half. 'He's coming back!' is the first thing that popped into my head. But to my dismay, as I scanned the paper, I saw nothing. But when I squinted closer through the blurriness of my tears, I could just make out two small words, written so small and so carefully I nearly missed them.

I'm sorry.

A/N

i'm sorry, i'm terrible at writing sad chapters, but this is the best I could do. As always, thank you for the love and I hope you all have the most amazing day!

SONG REQUESTS

Quote of the day

The real lover is the man [or woman!] who can thrill you just by touching your head or smiling into your eyes — or just by staring into space.

-Marilyn Monroe

I really wanna use this quote in the book, so I might find somewhere to plop it in. So if you can find it, props to you:).

Word Count: 1128