I'll Look After You

Chapter 4

This is going to break me clean in two
-

Could you page Dr. Meredith Shepherd, please," Derek lightly tapped his fingers on the counter as he waited for the nurse to do what he asked her to do. Instead of going to the microphone, the nurse shook her head and looked at him.

"Dr. Shepherd didn't come in today, sir."

"What?" Derek asked, not believing what he just heard. "Her car's in the parking lot." The nurse shrugged and shook her head indicating that she had no idea about the situation and went back to her work. Derek turned around and tried to think of a plausible explanation as to why Meredith's car was in the parking lot and she was not. He whipped out his cell phone and dialed her number. It rang four times before her voicemail picked up. "Mer, it's me. Where are you? Call me when you get this message, okay? I'll see you at home." He closed his cell phone and placed it back inside his pocket. He turned around and he saw George and Izzie walking out of the elevator. He made a quick run towards them and called there attention. "Dr. Stevens, Dr. O'Malley!" They both turned around and shared a look. "Have you seen Meredith?"

They both shook there head simultaneously and Izzie was the one who spoke first. "No, sir, we haven't seen her today."

"But her car's outside. Did she get a ride with someone today?"

"No, sir, Dr. Grey didn't get a ride with any of us. Maybe she's back home, sir," George shook his head and with a polite smile, dragged Izzie away from him. Derek watched as the two walked out of the hospital and into the parking lot. His eyes wandered towards the elevator once again and this time, saw Alex Karev walk out.

"Dr. Karev!" he called out. Alex stopped in his tracks and turned around to face him. "Have you seen Meredith?"

It took a few seconds before Alex replied with a shrug. "Don't know. Don't care." He stared at him for a few seconds before raising his eyebrows. Derek realized that he was waiting for him to say something else.

"Thank you, Dr. Karev," Derek dismissed and watched as Alex walked out of the hospital building.

He knew something was off but as all bad feelings he's ever had, he just waited for it to pass before heading out of the hospital himself and walked into the parking lot to head back to his trailer.

Alex sat down on one of the curbs by the parking lot and waited for Derek Shepherd to go inside his car and drive away. He was supposed to go to the daycare center and pick up Meredith but he didn't want to risk it with Shepherd close by. He headed back inside the hospital and picked up Meredith. He raised his eyebrow at her when she glared at him as he walked inside the daycare. "What?"

"You just had to leave me here, didn't you?" She continued on glaring at him. "The little kids were calling me crybaby!"

Alex laughed a little and gave her a small smirk. "That's cos' you were probably bawling your eyes out again." He laughed out loud when she glared at him more and pulled her by the hand. "C'mon, let's head home. And we're taking your car, Christina's orders."

"What? Why?" she asked.

Alex shrugged and shook his head a little. "I don't know, ask her. So what do you want for dinner? Pizza?"

"You think he saw it last night?" Meredith asked Christina as she took a seat beside her. Christina gave her a look that screamed 'I don't care.'. Meredith sighed softly and began to change into her scrubs.

"You want me to send Burke to go and talk to him?" Christina asked after a few seconds. Meredith stopped in the middle of her task and nodded. Christina nodded too. "Fine. I'll tell him to go talk with him later. Fish for some information or something... But I bet he hasn't seen it yet, shouldn't he be calling you by now?" Christina raised her eyebrow. "Or does he really not care anymore?"

"I turned off my phone since last night... And he doesn't know that I'm staying with Alex..." she told her defensively.

"Are you trying to save yourself from the pain? Would it really matter if he doesn't really care about you anymore? What if he's already out their partying with Addison? What then, Meredith?" Christina served her the cold and hard truths.

"I don't know," Meredith shrugged and looked at her friend with mixed emotions. "I don't know..."

"She's leaving me," Derek let out a strangled laugh. "No, wait, let me rephrase that. She's divorcing me." Derek stared at the spot he's been staring at for the last hour. He felt the couch move from the weight of Burke as he sat down beside him. He just sat there in silence, probably trying to absorb what he just said. "I signed the damn papers and I didn't even realize it. Am I that oblivious, Preston? When did I become that oblivious?" He looked at him now, his eyes trying to beg him for an answer to his question. Derek let out another strangled laugh. "She didn't even tell me why. She just left. I went home the other night and I didn't even realize her stuff were gone. Am I that oblivious?" He asked him once again. "Damnit, Preston. I c-can't lose her. Not this way. No." He shook his head and corrected his self. "I can't lose her."

"Maybe you've been taking her for granted, Derek," Burke offered him advice.

Derek shook his head, he believed it in his heart that he hasn't been leaving her for granted. "No. I was always there for her."

"Don't get mad, Derek, but..." Burke spoke quietly as if he knew Derek was going to regret what he was about to say. "These past few months that Addison's been here... You've been with her. Do you have any idea how many times Meredith spent dinner at our apartment because you can't spend it with her?" Burke took a deep breathe and continued. "Remember that night that you got the chief position? She went to our apartment that night, crying. Crying, Derek. Her husband just got promoted and she was crying! You know why she was crying? She was crying because she made dinner... You know how Meredith doesn't like cooking... And yet she made dinner and you didn't come home. You called her and you said you needed to stay overnight in the hospital because of the stuff you needed to do. And then she finds out that you went out to dinner with Addison. What kind of a man would have dinner with his ex-wife and leave out his wife, Derek? You tell me."

Derek just looked at Preston, not believing what he just heard. That can't be right... Right? He shook his head slowly and he muttered, "No."

"Derek," Preston laid a hand on his shoulder breaking him out of his memory. "You've caused her too much pain, maybe it's time you let her be."

"No," Derek shook his head stubbornly. "I-I can't let her go. I can't. I need to speak with her."

"You should give her more time, Derek. Give her time. Give her some space. Let her come to you."

"Yes," Derek nodded slowly as he realized it. "That's all we need, time. And when she's ready, we'll fix this. We have to fix this."

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