I'll Look After You

Chapter 9

She is everything I want that I never knew I needed
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Crying was the one thing that Derek Shepherd never succumbed in to his whole life. That fateful day when his most trustful first dog, Lassie, died... The day his father died... The day he caught his wife with his best friend in bed... The day he signed the divorce papers... Not a single tear was shed from him... That was until she came along and made him realize that it was okay to cry. He remembered vividly the first time he ever cried in front of someone else, it was in front of her and some of her friends. You would have thought that a tragic event that was much graver than his father's death would make him cry for the first time in front of someone... But no...

(flashback)

It was during their first year of marriage... A surprising night in which they both had the day off... They were in bed, watching a rented movie she got from the store the same day... Who would have known that a mix of bad acting and a sappy storyline would make him feel teary-eyed. He hid it well since she was leaning on him and she couldn't see his face. He remembered her voice lightly joking, "You're not crying on me now, are you, Derek?"

When he failed to reply, she sat up and she looked at him. He was an expert in holding back his tears so he didn't mind that she was looking at him. She peered at him suspiciously and then she smiled. "What?"

"You're a sappy, sappy man, Derek Shepherd."

He looked at her, horrified. He wasn't about to be called a sap. "I am not!"

She gave her a smile that teased and had a sense of pride all at the same time. "It's alright to admit you're a sappy man, Derek, I won't love you any less."

He raised his brow and narrowed it in a second. "What do you mean you won't love me any less? You think I think you'll love me less if you found out I cry over movies like that?"

She shrugged. "Just admit that you want to cry right now, Derek."

Derek pursed his lips into a thin line and glared at her for a second. His eyes moved over to the TV screen and narrowed intensely. "It's just that stupid guy had to do what he did... Damnit." He muttered. His eyes went back towards her and she was beaming. "What?"

"So you want to cry... Why aren't you?"

"Cos' I don't cry in public!" he told her. "It's not a manly thing to do!"

"A manly thing?" her brow hiked an inch. "Derek Shepherd, there is nothing wrong in crying!" She looked at him sternly. "Now, cry."

"What?" he shockingly asked. But his tears were already threatening to fall in a second by then. "What do you mean, cry?"

The next morning, he turned off the alarm clock and turned to see her wide awake and staring into space. "Good morning. How long have you been awake?" he asked her, as he leaned over and placed a kiss on her lips.

"A few minutes," she replied gloomily after a few seconds she spoke with a more sullen tone. "I think I'll skip work today."

"Are you feeling sick?" he reached over to feel her forehead. "You're not hot."

"I have a feeling... A bad one... A really bad one..." she spoke in a soft voice. "I think I'll skip work."

"Mer..." he placed a kiss on her forehead and let it linger there for a few seconds before pulling back and looking at her in the eye. "It'll pass, just wait for the feeling to pass."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," he nodded, giving her a reassuring smile and running his fingers through her cheeks. She still didn't smile and he felt the need to reassure her more. "You're going to be okay, Mer."