This Is All My Fault

12: The Very Last Millisecond?

TOM'S POV
A lot happens in the very last millisecond. Like the rest of my life is trying to cram itself into this moment. I hear an eerie whistle of the bullet rushing toward me through the air.
Fragments of sounds run through my head. Screaming. Crying. All the fear of the past hours comes out.
I want to flee.
To run away.
But it does not work.
You can think a lot in a millisecond, but do almost nothing. The last thing I feel is the tip of the bullet hitting my skin and piercing its way through my stomach.

I dropped my gun to the floor and my other hand immediately grabbed at the wound. I hold back my scream. I start to breathe harder and felt the blood trickle down my hands gently. My legs collapsed and sat with my back against the wall. A tear fell from my cheek. All I can think of is y/n. She's going to find out I was shot. She's never going to forgive herself. The worst part is that I broke another promise. God I'm sorry.

Strangely enough, it doesn't hurt.
It's the softest touch I've ever felt.

Good memories came back into my head. From the day we went to the beach. Her smile when she surfs on the waves made me happy. I will never miss that soothing, loving and calm smile. When I'm with her, I feel like I'm home. I feel comfortable. I would prefer to spend my whole life with her. But I can't.

I saved her.
But I couldn't save myself.

I saw Dylan pointing the gun at me again. I was sure now; It's finished, I'm finished.

The last I see is the man who shot me fall to the ground from a bullet he deserved.
It's allright, I want to shout.
All I see is y/n, holding my hand. But then my eyes close, and I can't remember anything.

Even what I think now.

Y/N's POV
I closed my eyes when I heard the sound of the bullet coming out of the gun. Did was perhaps the scariest but bravest thing I've done in my entire life. I opened my eyes and saw Dylan falling to the ground. My eyes landed on Tom who was against the wall, on the floor with his hands on his stomach. I immediately dropped the gun and rushed to Tom. I knelt in front of him and looked directly into his eyes.

Tom looked wide-eyed at his stomach. And then I realized it. He had been shot. I immediately started to panic.

"Oh, no no no. Please no." I shed a tear. "This can't be happening. I'm so sorry. Th-This is all my fault." I said hastily. "I'm sorry." I started to cry.

Tom's eyes land on me and I grabbed his hand tight. I felt him squeeze my hand. At this point I really felt like shit. This all happened because of me. I should have just gone here. I shouldn't have let him go here. I am so sorry. Now he had been shot and I didn't know if he would survive. What am I going to do without him. He was a bright spot in my life after a tragic time. He made me smile in a long, long time. I feel guilty.

"Come on Tom, stay with me. please. It will be alright. Keep your pretty eyes on me, okay?" Said I in my weak voice.

Slowly I saw his eyes close. He tried so hard to keep them open but he couldn't. His eyes closed. The pressure of his hand in mine grew weaker and weaker I immediately started to cry.
I let my tears fall down my cheeks. I cannot describe how much mental pain I am in. I'm not letting my hand go from his. I drop my head into Tom's chest. With my ear I can hear his heartbeat slowing down. But it doesn't stop. When I realized that I got the last bit of hope in me. With all my strength I lifted his body up with my arms. I put his arm around my shoulders and carried him, heading to the exit. Turns out the few hours of gym still come in handy.

After a few hard minutes I saw the light of day again. I feel that my strength is almost gone, but I still have to hold on a bit. I walk step by step to the point where all the people are. Everyone noticed us right away. It was a mess. I saw JJ and my father together. Who then looked at me with reassuring eyes. I saw the ambulance being prepared. I saw the military making it difficult to keep the reporters away from my father and JJ. Finally I come to the point where the paramedics take Tom from me and lay him on the ground. Immediately they all started doing things with him. I have no idea what, because I wasn't mentally there at the time. Everything happend so fast.

So many impulses came in at that moment. Screaming paparazzi. The paramedics. The military, police and fire brigade heading for the white house. I let a tear fall down my cheek and look at Tom. I kneel next to his head. I wipe his hair from his face with my finger. So innocent. I put my hand on his head and stroke his forehead with my thumb. In the distance I hear my father yelling at me, but I don't listen. I give Tom one last kiss on the head. Then I'm pulled away by some security guards. No, I said. I'm fighting back.

All I wanted now was to be with him. To make sure he's okay. I didn't want to leave. I looked behind me and saw JJ and my Dad get into a helicopter. I was drawn to it. I screamed. Tom's image kept getting smaller and smaller. Witch made me cry again. I gave up. The 2 security guards lifted me to the helicopter whether I wanted to or not. Tom was sent to the ambulance. The helicopter flew away.

That was the last time I saw him.