Passion Meets Fear | JiMina

T W E N T Y - O N E

The weather was beautiful that day. Actually no, it was beyond beautiful. The boundless sky shined with the beam of the sun, its azure hue painted on its appearance. Numerous displays of thin clouds were stretched across the whole sky. The refreshing, brisk winds made up for the heat.

Jimin averted his gaze from the magnificence of the skies. There was always something special about being in a truly quiet library. The atmosphere it had was astounding in terms of providing someone hours of pure tranquility. Like an empty coffee shop or an open park during the daylight, it had its soothing and warm mood that would evoke a natural feeling of being one with the environment. Jimin thought of how strange yet interesting it was that he felt isolated but at the same time, he could visualize the whole world with only two books in his hands and a hundred more stacked on shelves.

From where he sat, he could look out the open window with nothing to obscure his sight. He secured the pages with his hands when the wind blew again for the umpteenth time. But no matter how distractive it could be, it never seemed to bother him at all. In fact, it was one of those times where he cherished his surroundings delightfully. This whole matter was the epitome of peace.

The books he was reading were a little different than the ones he usually read. Poetic Literature and Korean Dictionary. Earlier that morning he listed his name on a paper handed by Ms. Byeom, their professor in Creative Writing, that offered limited vacant slots for any aspiring poet to publish a piece of their own and be potentially chosen as the winner for SMAUPoems2011. To be honest, the ranking part wasn't something he was concerned of. The mere thought of trying new things was enough to lead him straight to the library knowing he had an hour and a half without any interrupting classes.

Originally, he wanted to write a poem about young and nurturing love but the more he considered the idea, the more he realized it was becoming too common. So he changed his mind to writing about the tragedy of Asiana Airlines Flight 991 but then again, a conflict arrived; the crash was still early and relatively fresh that he figured if he wrote a poem about it, the content might arouse a negative sentiment from the victims' loved ones who were most likely still mourning. As a result, he roamed each section trying to find an idea that people wanted to hear and related to. But something popped up in his mind that altered his decision.

He recognized that it was redundant to write something for the people.  A brief moment of self-reflection occurred and it was all that he needed. He grabbed the two books he had in mind, took a seat by the window and began reading. He finalized his decision: he was going to write about the emotions he held deep within. Neither taking interest in winning nor losing, he proceeded to skim and analyze the texts that he read, occasionally opening the dictionary to search for any word he didn't have a clear understanding of. And there he was, half an hour later still focused on acquiring as much knowledge and insight as possible.

A week had passed since the second day of school. In between were days of grueling adjustment. He wasn't at all used to cope with Chanhoon's demanding attitude, which meant he also had to deal with his clubmates' new opinions about him. Not having any interaction with Mina (save for the two phone calls they had) or seeing her at all was another thing he needed to become accustomed to. Well, not seeing her was a definite way to give her space, right? Nevertheless, it upset him somehow. Perhaps staying in the library wasn't just for the reason of writing a poem, but also of providing him a peace of mind.

As he was in his moment of listing down the tenth unfamiliar word he found, he heard a sound of what sounded like a deep sigh. It certainly broke his focus, snapping himself out of his own little world. He turned around only to see a fairly recognizable woman staying at another group of seats about three tables behind, her back and her sleek black bob facing him. Jung Eunbi, the "stagnant ranker" as some people said, although he thought being top five in Design Arts wasn't by any means bad of a position.