When you're broken, lost and got nothing left to lose... you become bulletproof.
Trying to fix your life back together after having it shaken upside down isn't easy. Getting used to normal when you feel like an outcast in your own skin, isn't easy...
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Song: Confident - Demi Lovato
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J U L Y
"How are you feeling today?" wondered Dr Salazar questioned when I sat, not affected by my clearly aggressive smile.
"Absolutely amazing. The sky is bluer than ever, birds are singing again and it feels like the world is spinning again."
His head tilted, not amused by my obvious display of 'happiness'. "That's a good start." he opened the notebook on his lap. "And what is the source of this improvement?"
"I don't know, life in general. I think we should now cut this session short. As exciting as it is this emotional autopsy every month, I'm sure both of us could work without it. Well, you probably enjoy them more than me since you're the one getting paid, but as you see, I'm perfectly fine." I slammed my hands against the arms of the cushioned chair and went to stand. "So, if we have an agreement-"
"Sit down, Miss Thander." he cut me and I slumped back down with a huff.
"It was worth a try."
"Fair try, but now seriously. You know this do you good."
"Does it really? Because it felt like I'd been hit by a truck every time I left and there actually nothing worth notifying. I've been the same since I left the center. I'm being careful, I'm eating and doing exercise, but not too much. My last doctor's checkouts were incredibly positive, and aside from infertility, weaker bones and slow cicatrization, I'm as good as new."
"Well, you know, slow cicatrization can also be because of your smoking."
I rolled my eyes. Yeah, probably, but smoking was one of the few things that calmed me when stressed, when everything else felt like it could swallow me. It allowed me some control. So I smirked.
"We both know that's not going to change."
"I guess as much. But aside from your physical records, that as you said are pretty much stable I would like to leave those until the next appointment with your doctor next November. What about how you feel?"
"I'm great."
"Are you now?"
"Sure. Better than better. The greatest."
"Alright, then. Let's talk about this greatness, shall we?"
There is no fooling him, is there it? I should know by now that whether I like it or not, I couldn't avoid these talks. "Finals are over, I'm about to go home and enjoy the rest of these heat months in a golden jail before starting back junior year."
