Day 4

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it was a normal day as usual
i was honestly a little bit curious about what that guy has to say since its just doodles of me
with
hearts,
little sweet hearts
i mean i dont really mind
but
still wanna talk to him about it..
his class is up next so maybe an hour or so later ill ask him to stay when lunch begins
...
so class has started again n im feelin rather nervous ?
i mean ive talked to this guy sometimes these past few days
but
i think im straight up
ready to tell him how i feel i mean
ive been keepin all these feelings to myself n i dont think ill be able to keep it to myself anymore
im so tempted to just tell him how ive been feelin for all these years
but ahem anyways.
time was movin rather quickly today
an hour has already passed n lunch is just in a few minutes
i looked over to see john (thats his name, i finally mention it) simply scribblin in his notebook
assumin he was doodlin again with that red pen he was usin.
the few minutes had passed, makin the bell ring as half of my class turned in their papers i gave them back to me
of course, and as always
john was the last one to leave though i stoppes him by sinply callin his name
i earned a 'yes ?' from him before i motiones him to grab a chair n sit in front of me
it felt weird talkin to him
mainly due to the fact on how tall i was n how short he was..
im sure im about 4 or 3 feet taller than him
i mean
i sure am aroun 7 foot sumthin so that explains it
but anyways
i had a conversation with him about his grade and his extra credit stuff
i told him that he didnt have to push himself to work hard n get more credit for the good grade he already had
i mean i jokingly told him if he preferred a 200% than a simple 100% as a grade
an A++
but anyways im hoping he doesnt do much work for my class
hes the only person that has a good grade and works harder than others
but i digress
i
moved on to the next conversation topic
and that was..
the doodles
i casually took out my work folder for his class n pulled out his paper
i slid it over to him n asked him if that was me
he took a moment to tell but he confirmed that it was indeed me he doodled on his paper with hearts
his excuse was that i had a nice face,,
i
thanked him of course i mean
quite nice to say from someone ive been fallin for years
but
the room fell quiet and
things were startin to feel just a little bit awkward...
i took a deep breath, breaking the silence, before telling him about .... 'this guy ive began to like ever since he got to this college that i worked at
i mean
of course he was new and not everyone was really a helper so i helped
and after that i just
fell.
i fell hard..
i wanted to talk more to this guy but i didnt want to be weird so i distanced myself
though i still liked him more n more until he came into my class this year
and this year we began talkin again
n things were good for me
i mean im talkin to the guy ive liked for a year or two
and ive bottled up these feelings to the point where im starting to feel like us talking doesnt feel real
it sucks
and i know that telling the extact same guy how i feel is a bummer for me because i know that this lil story i just told him is probably gonna make him distance himself from me ..'
and there i did it
i confessed
i confessed to him with this little cheesy story i told
its stupid but
i seriously wanted to tell him how i felt,,

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