Do Jism Ek Jaan

A drunken day

( Siddharth is at sana's doorstep )

He looked at her cute face. His eyes watered. How hurt must she be. How she has no idea about what he's been through. How he's been telling himself its just a feeling and it would go away. He never let him feel it. All this time, he controlled him, his true feelings, even lied, to her, to his family, to his fans, to himself and somewhere along the way he believed it too. But he has been through life, experienced its roughness, the highs and the lows, travelled the world, met people, different people with unique personalities of which some he still keeps in touch and some remained blurry almost forgotten faces. But shehnaz, her name was inscribed into his heart with gold. And her face was what he saw every time he closed his eyes, her voice was what he heard in the silence of his sleep. He's never met someone like her. Someone so, unfiltered, and unapologetically herself. In this world of monotone people, where everyone is trying to be just and perfect and always right, she was never afraid to show what she felt and speak her mind. Everyone called it her childishness and innocence. But he knew, its just who she is. She is not childish infact she was the strongest and bravest of them all, she was human , not an emotionless robot, not afraid to express her emotions, be it pain, hatred, friendship, love. How many people have the guts to do that? To show who they truly are to the whole damn world. She talked about her insecurities, how she didn't like her without wearing makeup, how she wished to be thin, her lack of knowledge in maths, her love for acting and singing, and her crushes, kartik aryan and gautam gulati, about her love for punjab, her fights with himanshi , her candidness about her family ,her respect for salman khan, her pain towards paras, her complicated friendship with mahira, her anger towards arti , and above all , what mattered to him the most, her love towards him. Everybody said he was the most real in the show, but sometimes he wondered, was it really him? Yes, he showed his anger, yes he cried when he saw his moms letter, yes he did show his true self , but even he found it hard to speak about his love for her. When she fearlessly talked about her feelings, something always stopped him from doing the same. He kept reasoning with himself, blaming it on the cameras but he knew, even now, when there is not a single camera around them , it seemed hard for him to just open up and tell her. What she means to him. To tell her what exact role she played in his life. And now he didnt know where to begin. Am i a coward? He asked himself. Guilt had consumed him, and for the first time that day, he accepted it. His guilt, his pain, his fears, his own insecurities, he finally let himself loose control and breathe, which is why he ended up drunk, in front of her apartment, tired, and exhausted with feeling so much. Shehnaz. A 3-syllable name did this to him. He didnt really think what he must say or do when he see her. Normally, he is sorted and knows what to talk, how much to talk, where to start and where to end. But this little thing standing infront of him, had made this huge bold strong man loose his shit. He saw the reflection of his face in her small eyes, and smiled at himself. It really is funny how the world works.
"Siddharth?" She asked, a little surprised, a little concerned, a little happy and a little confused. There. He could read her like a book. Salman was so right when he described them as "Do jism, ek jaan".
"Siddharth? Come in. Dont just stand there. What is that smell. Wait are you drunk? Huh? Are you crying? Why...how..what happen.."
He watched her lips move, resonating with her voice.So many questions, like always. He wanted to answer all of it. One by one. Hug her and tell her. But when he tried to move his left leg, his whole body moved and he fell straight into her shoulders. Thats when he knew he had lost control not just of his emotions but of his body itself. And it seemed to be the only way to tell her, without words, that he has fallen for her.

( I know u guys must be confused with the premise but bear with me okay 😊)