Butterflies? Or something telling me to run away? || GiyuShino

Chapter 11 | Have you loved before?

Under the night sky, her feelings felt extraordinarily loud.

A sense of uncertainty infiltrated her thoughts.

But nothing mattered, as long as she was with him.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Are you alright, Kocho?" Tomioka looked over to her, she seemed to have gone through some things while he was chasing after the demon. The usual chatty Pillar had not said a single word since they left the forest, and he was starting to worry about her. There was not much of a smile on her face, and her face looked slightly flushed as she appeared to be stuck in her own thoughts. He raised his hand and placed it on her forehead, his movements clearly startled the daydreaming Kocho.

"What, what do you think you're doing?!" Her face turned a darker shade of red and immediately slapped away Tomioka's hand, causing the male to frown.

"Your face was a little flushed, so I was just checking if you had a fever or not" Tomioka turned back around, he didn't understand why she got so annoyed at him.

"Ah, sorry" Kocho mumbled, her heart was beating like crazy. How could he just touch her like that without warning?

Actually, did she really like him? Was she perhaps just infatuated with him?

No, she wanted this. Her brain had finally caught up to the feelings she felt in her heart, the feelings of wanting to be closer to the male next to her, to know all his secrets and small habits, to be there for him when he needed someone. All these feelings that she had accumulated throughout the past 2 and a half months spent with him, were gradually awakening.

Perhaps tonight was a catalyst for these feelings to wash over her, she was glad the night was still young. She really did not want Tomioka to see her too clearly at this point.

Well... she sneaked a glance at the expressionless Water Pillar next to her, how he felt about her was the next question she needed to know. What if he didn't like her? What would she do then? There was some sort of unspeakable pain in her chest as she thought that.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Since when did she become so immature. If he didn't like her, she would simply continue living and working with him, as co-workers.

However, that thought also made Kocho incredibly frustrated. There was no way she would be able to treat him as a co-worker after realizing her feelings.

She came to the conclusion that it would be best to keep her feelings to herself, and never let him know. It was simply too risky, she could not bear the thought of losing him.

❀❀❀

"Let's stay in this Wisteria House tonight" Tomioka's voice seemed deeper in the silence and darkness, Kocho couldn't help but blush. No! The more pressing matter is that she didn't even realise they were approaching one of their safe houses. Had she been alert of her surroundings, she would've noticed. This was bad, how was this whole situation messing up her awareness. She needed to get it together.

"My, it looks like even the great Tomioka gets tired" She covered her mouth, teasing him on the surface, but deep down it was more to cover up for her embarrassment of not realising they had approached the Wisteria House. To her surprise, he seemed more relieved than annoyed at her teasing.

The door to the house opened, and the two Pillars turned to greet the family who would be allowing them to stay in their home for the night.

"My! What a lovely pair, welcome to our home. You two must be tired." The woman who opened the door seemed delighted to see them, "thank you for accepting us tonight on such short notice" Kocho said while nodding her head gracefully, to affirm her words Tomioka bowed slightly to express his thanks at the woman, who beamed back at them.

"It's no worries dear, thank you for all the hard work you guys do" The woman led the two towards the room they would be staying for the night "I shall prepare some dinner for you guys, please relax in here while I do so." She smiled at the two and left the two staring awkwardly at each other.

Kocho knew that most Wisteria Houses only had one guest room, but she still felt a little nervous sleeping in the same room as Tomioka for the first time, albeit in different futons (obviously).

She sat down on the ground, and took off her haori. Looking at the crumpled material on the back side, she thought back to the boy and his deceased fiancé. She hoped that he would be fine.

Folding up her butterfly haori, she looked up to Tomioka who had also sat down opposite to her.

"Tomioka-san, have you ever liked anyone"

He seemed to be a bit taken aback at her question, "I guess I like my sister? I also like some of the other Pillars who are nice to me...?"

"No, I meant romantically, Tomioka"

The Water Pillar narrowed his eyes at her, "Kocho, do you like someone". Kocho was surprised at how well she could control her facial expression and not blush at his straightforward question, she shook her head and replied "No, it's just that I encountered a boy who lost his fiancé tonight."

"And it made me wonder how it feels to be separated from one who you loved romantically." She finished off, wondering when she got so good at not being honest with herself. She used to blush furiously whenever she wasn't honest with herself, back when her sister was still alive.

He thought seriously for a moment before replying.

"My Master, the former Water Pillar, told me that if I wished to become the strongest demon slayer I would have to always keep my heart steady and calm." He looked at her and continued "Therefore, if it were me, even if something did happen to my fiancé, my heart would never waiver. I would live on, for the both of us. That being said..."

Tomioka seemed to hesitate before saying the following words, but ended up saying it anyway.

"Kocho, we are the part of the nine strongest swordsmen of our generation. We are the literal supports of the Demon Slayer Corps, so Pillars must act like Pillars. I don't think romance is an option for us Pillars, unfortunately." He looked down, unable to look directly at her. Was he scared of seeing her response?

Kocho's eyes widened ever so slightly upon hearing his response and seeing his reaction, she felt something inside her sink, but she hid behind her smiling mask as usual and laughed lightly.

"Dear me, Tomioka. Why the sudden deep remarks." Her heart ached knowing that was what he thought, but she must not get flustered. After all, nothing he said was wrong.

Her heart must never waiver, even if he would never look at her in the way she wanted him to.

Tomioka looked up at her abruptly upon hearing her response and opened his mouth, about to say something, but a knock on the door interrupted them.

"Dinner is ready, please come out and follow me when you two are ready." The woman said gently outside their door.

"Let's go eat, Tomioka" Kocho smiled, he thought he saw sadness in those smiling eyes, but she turned around and started heading towards the door before he could see clearly.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A/N: It pains me that I have to write this chapter, but it can't be helped (sorry if it was badly written).

Took inspo from Giyu Gaiden (I love it to death, those who haven't read it really should but who am I kidding, we're grasping at the giyushino crumbs thrown at us here - I'm sure anyone turning to fanfics have already read it LMAO)

Anyway, can you guys believe so many people have read my story??
Thanks for all the support up to now everyone, love y'all <3
See you guys next chapter~

This is the end of the chapter.
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