Taylor's POV
Today we are going back to my house. The boys have a day off, so they thought that it would be the best day to go and pack up my things because when this tour is over, I will be moving to England with them. We went to the courthouse yesterday and got my papers signed, Louis is now my official dad/legal guardian. I am not going to treat him like a dad though, he's too brotherly like, same with the other boys.
I know that today I am going to be an emotional wreck. I don't want to go back, I don't want to remember my old life because all it does is bring back fragile memories. It's hard to picture my old life without crying and thinking of all the things that I never got to do with my parents, all the things that I wanted to say.
The bus ride there seems to drag on as I am dreading when we get there. I can see by the road signs that we are getting very close. I don't make any conversation because at the moment, I have nothing to say to them.
By now we are pulling into the suburbs that I lived in. Louis walks over and puts his hand on my shoulder and says "You ready?"
He knows that this is going to be hard for me, they all do. Going back to my house and saying goodbye for the last time. Leaving all of my past behind and never returning, it sucks. But, I silently nod and walk out of the door on the bus. I am standing in my old driveway staring at my house. We walk up to the front door, luckily I still have the key.
As we walk inside everything that ever happened in that house washed over me. All of the great memories that I had here. Everything was exactly the same as when I left those few short days ago. I start to walk to my old room, looking around the house remembering how my life was before the concert. I walk into my room and start to pick up all of my things. I throw them in my old dufflebag that is lying on the floor. I haven't picked up my room in a while so there is stuff everywhere. I pack my things into my bag and look around at my vacant room.
The tears start to well in my eyes as this is the last time that I will be here. I turn around and walk out of my room with the tears streaming down my face. All eyes are on me when I walk back into my living room. I grab some pictures of me and my family, I wont be able to see them again, but at least I can look at pictures. I look around my house one last time as Niall takes my bag from my shoulder.
The boys whisper to each other but I can't hear what they say. I take a moment to embrace the house one last time and head towards the door. The boys follow me out, I turn around and lock the precious door. I walk back to the bus, wiping my tears away, trying to be strong. I plop myself head first in the pillows on the couch.
I am so embarrassed that I am doing this right here, right now. I don't want them to know that on the outside I am strong, on the inside I am a broken girl who is desperate to be fixed.
Zayn picks me up and sets me on his lap. I quickly try to wipe all of the stray tears from my face and look away from him.
"Why do you do that?" he asks quietly.
"Do what?" I croak.
"You wiped your tears and pretended that everything was okay, and it's not, you know it's not. I know its not," He says with care in his voice. "You can't always be as strong as you hope to be, you can't keep everything inside of you until you burst."
"That's how I deal with things, and that's how it's always going to be. As long as I tell myself, I am strong, I am. I don't care that I am pretending. As long as people don't see the real emotional side of me, that's all I care," I say letting off some steam I angrily jump off his lap and sit next to him.
"I'm sorry, smarts. I didn't mean to make you upset, I just don't want you to get too stressed or anything," He says apologizing.
"No, it's okay. Sometimes my stress and anger gets control over me and I start to say things that I know I shouldn't," I get back up on his lap again and give him a hug.
I don't want us to be like this. I want us to be a nice, little happy family, and forget anything that ever happened before this very moment. By now, Liam is sitting next to me texting someone, I think. The same with all of the boys. I don't have a phone so I go over to my stuff and grab one of my books. I really like to read so why not use the quiet time. This is pretty much what we do for the rest of the day. It's nice to not have to do anything for once.
A/N
(Edited 10/14/15)
Probably January 2015:
Hey everyone, So I am not that proud of this chapter. It's really short and I don't have the motivation or any ideas on how to improve this chapter. But as I said I don't really know how to fix it. I'm sorry if you are disappointed with this chapter because I know I am.
~Basic
No reason to be disappointed Basic! Its fine! I mean, no one can expect you to be perfect 24/7. I remember when you first started this story. I'm so proud of you. You've come so far! Love yaa
Kisses,
-B (the editor)
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