Do Re Mi | Thor Odinson x reader

Me

feel like im living life like a ao3 writer the shit that happened to me in the past two months bruh  💀

SELF CARE CHAPTER LES GOOOOOOOO

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If you want your ego bolstered, muscles toned, or chair upholstered; just leave everything to me! Charming social introductions, expert mandolin instructions. Just leave everything to me!

You hummed along to the song while painting your nails. It's that time of the month that you dread, and you were looking for something, anything to distract you from the unbearable pain. That was when you realized you haven't done your nails in a long time. A long time being two months.

New month, new nails, something your wallet couldn't take and neither could your stomach,  with the smells of the salon and the standing and waiting and- "Hck!" You thinking about the pain even hurt. So you were taking the old school route. It's not really old school but it's... it's a method.

The god you recently started sharing an apartment with had lurking around the kitchen, waiting for one of his fellow Avengers to call him back, which was extremely unlikely due to the fact that he was using your phone. The voicemail might've helped, but it was rather long as it included you trying to teach him how voicemails actually work.

"So you're telling me that this tiny box," He pointed at your rose gold colored phone covered by a Pompompurin case. "Can document everything I say and encases my voice with it?" You nodded your head at him. "I mean y- no!" You took the phone away from him before he threw it on the ground.

"Hey, do you know how much money I had to take out of my student loan savings just so I could impress my non existent friends?!" You held the device to your heart, your hand covering the dogs face so you could only see his ears and hat. "And you're seriously saying Asgard has carriages with cats used as horses but they don't have anything that makes talking to people easy?"

"To be fair, there's only one. And if I would like to talk to someone, I'd just call them over." You covered your mouth, not knowing what to do with the laughter bubbling inside of you. "That is way too dramatic." Or maybe the times have changed.

"You seem pretty antsy," Over the course of the last Thursday to this new one, you've gained more of an acquaintanceship with him. The barest of minimums you can allow before letting someone live with you, but you were feeling a little rebellious. And with this new relationship came unneeded small talk. "It.. has something to do with the war splitting the team up." You nodded your head.

"... Have you ever thought of painting your nails pink and white? You give me Elle Woods vibes." You randomly ask. There is no answer so you look up from the F/C nail paint to see him looking at you with a questioning glance. "Oh fuck, don't tell me there's gender norms in Asgard." You joke, though you actually want to know.

"One, I don't know what these 'gender norms' of yours you speak of and two, why would I color my nails?" With this newfound information, you were mentally packing your bags to go and live in Asgard. But there was also the second thing he said.

"What do mean why would you paint your nails? I mean, look at the shinies on my fingers, man!" He nodded, noting 'painting nails' as just another human thing to do. "Are you going to embrace the blonde lawyer inside of you or are you lame?! Hurry up before I finish all of the white!" To think a few Thursdays ago you were tripping over your words trying to talk to the god.

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And in arrondissement eight, the Champs Elysees I would rate: perhaps the one thing that's straight as can be! And at the Cafe de la Paix, if you are heading that way, they drink a toast ev'ry day around three; They make each moment as gay as Le Quatorze of Juillet;

Thor almost dropped the cookies and creme pop tart's he just brought out of the microwave, which you internally shame him for, when he saw your face covered in shiny pink. Some people over in Asgard did things like this too to clear their skin, but he never bothered to do things like that, and he was now remembering how scary they make people look.

"Come on, Thor, I know damn well I didn't scare you that much." If he could handle defeating a whole ass serpent by himself, he could handle off brand Gonzo. "No, I- Ahem, I just-" You did startle him a little.

"It's just a face mask man." You laughed. "You look like one of the Snowths." You made another noise that only you would describe as a laugh. At least he payed attention to your interests?

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i was disappointed at how short this chapter was but then i remembered tht this is a series of drabbles w no plot,,, but im still disappointed in myself :(

happy thursday!!