Once More

Chapter Two

Author's Note: AU based on a plot bunny that I couldn't shake. 

"Thunking" is a real scientific term. 

This chapter starts pretty angst heavy but ends with fluff.

AU in which Tasha Yar lives. Otherwise, pretty much sticks to canon. One change, based on the setting and canon promotions that occurred during that time frame, Tasha's rank in this fic is "Lieutenant Commander." We saw both Worf and Geordi rank up during that time. I think it is only natural that Tasha would have as well.

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"Have you ever failed to tell someone how much they mean to you?" Worf questioned. "And do you think there's ever any going back?"

The Captain could see Worf was deeply troubled by this matter.

He contemplated Worf's statement for a moment as he bounced back and forth on his heels.

"Why don't you tell this person now?" Picard asked.

"I fear it is now too late," Worf replied honestly.

Captain Picard took an uncomfortable breath.

Jadzia Dax.

Captain Picard had heard more than a fair share of stories about the intriguing trill – enough to know she had endeared herself to her crew mates, was regarded as a brilliant science officer, and had been considered a warm and beautiful person.

Picard could only vaguely begin to understand the kind of loss Worf must have felt at her death.

The kind of loss that he would carry as a part of him forever.

In a way, Worf's entire life had been shaped by loss – his parents, his brother, his honour and Empire, Starfleet for a time, and eventually his Empire once again.

"Many years ago, when Alexander's mother was killed, I made myself a promise," Worf explained. "K'Ehleyr was murdered because of me. Because of my history with the House of Duras."

Ambassador K'Ehleyr.

Captain Picard remembered her well.

She had been a fascinating woman. It had been evident at the time that there was history between the two. Picard had never quite understood why Worf had been cold toward her advances when it was clear she was quite keen on him.

At the time, Picard had wondered if there was perhaps someone else in Worf's life.

"I made a promise to myself that I would never let that happen to anyone else," Worf said. "I swore off romantic entanglements."

Captain Picard wasn't quite sure what to say.

He knew that it was rare for Worf to open up like this and Picard did not wish to shut him down.

"But it was an oath I broke," Worf confessed.

"Jadzia Dax," Picard said softly.

"Was the Universe's way to remind me of the oath I took to protect her," Worf growled. "And now I fear I have hurt her once more."

I have hurt her once more.

To protect 'her.'

Worf was speaking in the present tense.