𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉 𝒎𝒆 [sᴏᴜᴋᴏᴋᴜ]

12 | 𝚏𝚊𝚔𝚎

Everything seemed fine. At least for everyone in the agency. I knew how to hide my pain and I was aware of that.

Atsushi would often ask how I was feeling and I would always give him the same answer:

"I'm glad to be alive right now."

I myself was impressed by how well I could act saying that line.

The agency knew I always tried to kill myself as a joke that's why they wouldn't care if I actually died.

They know they'll lose a good detective but that's it.

All of them only saw me as a member of the agency and nothing more.

One night I went to a bar and met Chuuya there. I was glad and tried to talk to him but then I noticed he was with Kouyou.

"Wow what's the traitor doing here?"

He said and Kouyou laughed looking at me like I did something really embarrassing.

"Can't a man just get his usual afternoon drink in his favorite bar?"

I answered and sat down next to Chuuya.

Chuuya then stood up and looked down at me: "We're in this bar every night. We would know if this was your favorite. You probably just wanna see me again that's why you're here."

I smirked. Maybe he was just mocking me, maybe he actually knew. But something inside of me was saying that he missed me too.

"Well, I think you wanna see me just as bad otherwise you wouldn't start fights with the agency."

"Don't bring my job into this. I'm not starting fights, Mori is just sending his best executives against you stupid detectives."

Chuuya gave a normal answer but I could tell he was pissed.

I thought why not piss him off even more: "Oh come on Chu Chu I know you wanna see me~"

Chuuya threw his glass on the floor: "Are you kidding?! I would never want to see you again! This whole time I'm trying to avoid you yet you still follow me all the time. Just leave me alone! I dont need you. I never did. I just want to move on and be happy without you."

That's when my heart shattered in a million pieces.

I knew he cared and I knew he was hurt.

Yet I never knew I was hurting him even more trying to get close to him again.

"Alright."

I said and walked away.

Making my way into the cold rainy night out of the bar I felt tears rush down my face.

I wasn't sobbing this time.

I just silently let the tears fall down from my face on the wet floor.

It hurt too much. Everything hurt.

My heart was beating faster and faster the more I thought about what Chuuya said.

Every word of his rang in my head like an echo.

It was like he was standing next to me, repeating and repeating everything and with each time it hurt more.

The whole scene played in my head five... nine... eleven... maybe even fifty times.

I thought about everything I said and how I rushed out of the bar.

I didn't even want to mock Chuuya with anything anymore like I usually did, I just wanted to leave.

That was always my solution.

Leaving.

When Oda died and I left Chuuya I wasn't even thinking about anything. I just knew I needed to leave.

But this time is different.

I don't think leaving the city will be enough this time...