Flowers Of Time (Inspired Series #2)

46

ARIS POINT OF VIEW

Bumalik kaming dalawa sa pinuntahan namin dati. The place was still peaceful. Nakaupo kaming dalawa at pinagmasdan ang paligid. Tumingin ako sa kanya, akala ko masyado lang siyang tahimik dahil ayaw niyang magpa istorbo dati. Maybe silent people have carrying heavy burden's too.

Marami kasing nagsasabi na kung sino 'yung masaya st palangiti ay sila 'yung may dinadalang malalaking problema. Hindi ko naman sinasabi na mali ito. Pero kahit 'yung mga taong piniling manahimik o iyong mga taong tahimik lang talaga ay may malalaking problema rin na dinadala. Dinaan lang nila sa pagiging tahimik dahil hindi nila gustong madamay ang mga tao sa paligid nila. Habang 'yung mga taong laging nakangiti at masaya, dinadaan nila sa ngiti ang mga problema nila para hindi mag-alala ang mga taong nakapaligid nila.

People can be selfless in their own way.

"Hey." Kinalabit ko si Colin na kanina pa nakatitig sa kawalan.

"Let's write," I say. He forrowed his eyebrows on me. "Let's write a letter everyday, and adress it to someone that the cause why we're like this. Why we are suffering this, why we are chained from it. 'pag tuluyan ng naghilom. Babasahin natin ang mga sulat na sinulat natin. Dito rin . . ."

I handed him the pen and paper. Kinuha ko rin iyong sa'kin. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko ito naisip, perhaps to ease the pain I am feeling. Sinulat ko ang taong gustong-gusto kong bigyan nito. Kung bakit nakaramdam ako ng ganito.

As I write this letter for you, I am hoping one day, I can forgive you. I never hated you nor liked you. Lagi lang talagang sa pagitan. Kaya sana balang araw, mapapatawad kita, papa.

Isa ka sa rason kung bakit lagi akong nakakaramdam na palagi akong nasa pagitan ng kasiyahan at kalungkutan. Kasi hanggang ngayon . . . hanggang ngayon, hindi ko kayang magalit sa'yo ngunit hindi rin kita kayang magustuhan.

Gusto mo ba akong makasama papa?
Iniisip mo ba ako?
Tinuring mo ba akong anak? Kasi ramdam ko . . . ramdam ko na hindi.

Minsan naiisip ko, bakit napunta ako sa kalagayan na ito. Bakit ako pa ang naging bunga ng pagkakamali niyo. Hindi ako tanggap ng mga tao, at wala akong ibang pagpipilian kung hindi tanggapin ang sarili ko. Kasi ako lang ang makakagawa no'n. Walang iba . . . and I have countless of questions to ask my father. Questions that will remain stuck in the edge of my tongue, because even once, he never became a father to me.

Naramdaman kong may bisig na pumulupot sa katawan ko.

"You're crying . . . maybe this hug will ease the pain you're bearing, Aris." Mas tuluyan akong napahagulhol sa sinabi niya.

My heart is too heavy and too weak to fight. No matter how hard I want to be strong for myself, my heart won't cooperate.

"Did he hated me that much that he can't recognized me as his own child?" I muttered. "Why do I need to suffer from this pain, Colin? Why do I need to experience this?"

"God had a purpose why we experience this kind of pain. One day, we'll overcome this. With the wisdom and strength he had given to us." Para akong natauhan sa sinabi niya.

He's right, I'll overcome this because I know He's with me. It's a mistake that I asked that kind of question. I let my emotion overcome in me. I close my eyes and silently pray.

I am sorry, God. I am sorry I asked that kind of question. I prayed Lord that one day, we both find the peace we deserve and I also prayed that we'll overcome this. We are needing wisdom and strength from you, Lord. I also prayed God that whatever battles he'd encounter, he will fight that with the confidence you had given to him. He may not stumble, Jesus. I also want to thank you Lord, because you introduce me to Him. In Jesus name I pray.

"Amen," I say.

I wiped my tears. Tila gumaan ang pakiramdam ko pagkatapos kong magdasal. Iniisip ko kanina na walang kayang tumanggap sa'kin. Ngunit doon ako nagkakamali.

Kasi bago pa ako isinilang sa mundong ito, tinanggap na ako ng Panginoon. Someone was there who accepted me, and it's Him. It's you, Jesus.

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