Deep Impact (Shooting Star/Glee)

12

Blaine started to feel like getting a panic attack. As soon as he saw the building his feelings were totally confused. He tried to find comfort in holding Kurt's hand, but it didn't help the way he wanted to have it. Lots of people were pouring into the building, all of them in black clothes and sad faces.

Suddenly he literally felt the panic attack. He was shaking and he couldn't breathe the way he was used to. "B, calm down. I'm with you. Everything is alright" Kurt tried to comfort him. Blaine sat down on the steps which led to the school and tried to control himself. "Can you reserve a place for us? I will stay with him" Kurt suddenly said, maybe to his brother and mother, but Blaine couldn't concentrate on that.

"B, look at me" Kurt demanded and took his face into his hands. Blaine was instantly lost in Kurt's beautiful eyes. Weirdly, he was immediately calmed down. The only thing he could concentrate on was Kurt's eyes. "Great. Do you think you can stand up?" Kurt asked after Blaine completely calmed down. "I'm alright" Blaine said, more to himself, but it helped. He stood up and looked at the school. The restless feeling wasn't gone, but Blaine took deep breaths to get over that feeling.

"Hey guys" Rachel suddenly said and revealed the whole glee club behind her, Finn on her right hand. "You okay?" Sam asked and patted him on the shoulder. "I'm alright" Blaine repeated. Most likely, everyone saw that he wasn't okay, but nobody mentioned it. "You sure you want to go in?" Kurt asked to make sure he was able to go. He nodded.

With Kurt on his one hand and Rachel on his other, they walked slowly as a group into the building. From the outside it looked most likely pretty funny because the whole club was holding on to each other and they walked pretty slowly. They were mostly comforting Blaine. He felt Sam's and Brittany's hands on his shoulders and Rachel and Kurt were holding his hands tightly.

As soon as they were in the building the restless feeling was building up. The only thing Blaine could see was the blood all over the floor and the dead bodies in front of his inner eye. But he took some deep breaths and then he saw the whole floor with flowers. The holes from the shots were covered and, on some lockers, there were pictures and signs.

But Blaine was completely overstrained when they were walking past the classroom in which he was shot. "Oh my god" Blaine whispered. "No, B. Look at me. It's over, okay?" Kurt immediately saw that something wasn't right and took Blaine's face into his hands. Blaine could feel the tears running down his cheeks. "It's over" Kurt repeated which calmed Blaine down. He wasn't laying there anymore. He was alive, he survived. Blaine nodded and pulled the troop in the direction of the school yard.

When they were outside, Blaine saw the mass of people who were sitting where usually the dining tables stood. There were lots of chairs which were already filled. On the stairs there were seven huge pictures of each victim and a lot of flowers around them. In the middle was a lectern which would be most likely used for whoever is going to say something later.

The more Blaine had to walk the more he could feel his stomach hurt. He was sure that he wasn't able to walk that much longer. But his mental situation was bordering him more. He couldn't look in the crowd. He wasn't able to look into the sad faces of the victim's families. He didn't realize that he wasn't walking anymore. "Blaine?" Kurt asked silent and looked at him in worry.

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Blaine was absolutely pale, his look was remained on the ground and his breath was unsteady. As soon as the tears were running down his face, Kurt was more than worried. "Blaine, we are here for you. You are not alone" Finn said and laid his hand on Blaine's shoulder. "Are you okay?" Pam ask worried as soon as she arrived by the group of friends.

"Mom" Blaine whispered. He let go of Kurt and Rachel's hand and hugged his mother. Kurt didn't know what he should do. He did not know what Blaine was feeling or what he was going through. But as he looked into that crowd with the people who lost their children, he suddenly realized the range of the shooting. It will always be a part of all these people. Who knows if Blaine could ever go to school without fear?

"Come on, honey. Let's sit down" Pam said after a while holding her son. The group walked slowly to their seats. Kurt could see in Blaine's face that every step was hurtful and he was about to collapse. Luckily, they arrived at their seats. Blaine sat down and took a deep breath. Kurt took his place besides Blaine with Rachel on his other side. A few rows behind the group was Kurt's dad and Carole besides other parents of the glee club.

The entire school yard was full of people, even in the building people were looking outside the windows. The front rows were filled with crying family members of the victims. Kurt knew how it felt to lose somebody, but not in those circumstances. These were parents who had to bury their children.

Kurt was lost in his thoughts when he felt Blaine's hand searching for his. Blaine looked into his eyes with an apologetic look and watery eyes. Kurt immediately took his hand and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I felt like paralyzed" Blaine whispered into his ears. "Don't apologize. Nothing happened. Everything will be okay" Kurt answered, whereupon Blaine nodded.

For the first time Kurt looked at the pictures of the victims. No one of them looked really familiar. But his look was clued to a girl and a boy who looked like twin siblings. Blaine had told him about the two who were with him in the classroom, who the shooter shot in front of his eyes. They seemed so young, like everybody of the victims. It seemed like no one of them was older than sixteen.

Kurt looked at Blaine, whose look was still on the ground. He didn't want Blaine to go through all of this. Hearing the names would be awful, hearing the cries of the family is already hurtful and trying to live a life throughout all of this is probably going to be impossible.

Suddenly Brittany was standing up from her chair and walked towards Blaine. The ceremony hasn't started so no one around cared, but Brittany was a mess. Her eyes were red and she cried out loud. She fell to the ground right in front of Blaine. "Brittany, what..." Kurt started, but she interrupted him. "I... I've never thanked you. Being here and... and seeing all these people... I feel like I am back in that cabin... I wouldn't be here without you... you are my savior" She stuttered, interrupted from her cries.

Blaine instantly started to cry. He tried to control himself but he nodded and hugged Brittany. They both were crying and Brittany repeated her thank you the whole time. "Britt? You should go back to your seat. I think they will start now" Santana said and took Brittany away from Blaine softly. She was right. Principal Figgins and an unknown man were standing up from their seats and were walking to the lectern.