Always Been You - Shawmila One Shots

Little Do You Know

Camila Cabello heard Shawn Mendes come into their home just as she was starting to fall asleep. She reached out for her phone and saw that it was just after two in the morning, before flipping her phone over and closing her eyes. She heard him come into the room and move around, putting down the overnight bag he had taken on his trip and then undressed. It didn't take long before he was getting into the bed next to her and sliding up behind her. The instant she felt his body against hers and his scent wrapped around her, she felt her stomach twist and tears flood to her eyes.

God, she had missed him.

This trip had been longer than his normal ones, nearly two weeks this time.

She knew that this was all part of his job, since he had moved up because of the promotion from the company that he had been with for the past few years, and even though it was hard, it was something they both knew they had to accept, at least for now, but that didn't mean she liked it.

Especially now.

They had been together a long time, pretty much since they were in high school. A lot of couples didn't make it through that transition from high school to University or full time work and to adulthood, and they had almost been one of those statistics. They had taken a break for almost a year, but they ran into each other at a friend's wedding, and a few weeks later, they were giving it another shot.

And now it was four years later; they had a house and a mortgage, they had two cats and a turtle—Shawn had insisted on a turtle and on naming it Frank—they had mutual friends and steady jobs and they still loved each other.

A year and a half ago, it had seemed like their little family—themselves and their pets—was going to expand. After a positive pregnancy test, Camila had been so excited that she had left work early and gone to Shawn's job to tell him. But just a few short months later, she had gone to the bathroom and the blood wouldn't stop dripping down her thighs.

It wasn't as though they had been trying for a baby, but that didn't mean it didn't feel as though a knife had pierced their hearts when they heard the news.

The doctors said that it happened sometimes, it didn't mean she had done anything wrong, it didn't mean that she wouldn't be able to carry a baby to full term if she got pregnant again—it was just something that happened.

Camila had been glad she had only told her best friend at work, and her parents that she had been pregnant, because telling the three of them the bad news was hard enough, she couldn't imagine how hard it would be telling the rest of her friends. And her and Shawn just hadn't known how to treat each other—what to say or how to act, and so in the end, they had actually drifted apart. It wasn't like the first time, when they were never around each other, they existed in the same space as one another, they were just living separate lives, not telling one another what thoughts were going on in their heads, or how they were feeling.

It was only after therapy and some tense conversations that resulted in both of them crying, that they realized that they were both in as much pain as one another, and they needed to comfort one another.

But a month ago, Camila had found out she was pregnant again.

Four weeks ago.

And she hadn't told Shawn.

Because what if something went wrong?

What if they lost it again?

And even though she logically knew it wasn't her fault, after being told by two doctors and by her therapist and by Shawn and by her parents, what if she had done something wrong? What if she had screwed up? What if she lost this baby? What if she let him down?

And so she hadn't told him.

She was too scared.

He was also so busy that he barely had time for himself at the moment, and now she was going to ask him to step up and be a father. She had been so proud of him for getting the promotion and if he kept everything up for another year or so, he had a good shoot a managerial position, which would mean that the travelling would be a lot less and he would be able to stay home with her a lot more.

What if he didn't want the baby?

What if he wasn't ready?

They hadn't really spoken about it much the first time she had gotten pregnant, they were still processing the news when she had miscarried that it hadn't really settled in and they hadn't talked about what they were going to do, how they were going to function with another human in their life—a human that would depend on them for literally everything.

She was so worried that she had barely been able to eat and sleep and she had been throwing up every couple of hours, and that wasn't just from the morning sickness.

"Camila," Shawn's voice was gravelly from sleep, but from the way his hands were steadily rubbing up and down her arms comfortingly, she could tell that he was wide awake. "You're not asleep. You snore when you're asleep."

"I do not snore!" Camila snipped, her body jerking at the accusation. Shawn laughed and she felt the scratchy facial hair that he had been sporting in the past few months brushing against the back of her neck.

"What's going on, babe?" Shawn asked softly, his voice somber and a lot more awake now. "You're never awake this late."

"I was just waiting up for you," Camila attempted, although even she could hear the question in her voice.

"You don't do that, you know you don't function when you go to sleep after ten o'clock," Shawn replied. Camila sighed. They knew each other far too well for her to try and lie to him. It had been easier in the past few weeks because he had barely been around, and also because it had been more concealing the truth than lying outright. She rolled over in the bed, shifting backwards so that she could see Shawn's face in the moon that was shining through the window opposite them, through the gap in the curtain. She could see the bluish light on his face, causing shadows and showing off the few laugh wrinkles that he was getting in the corners of his eyes.

"I'm pregnant," she managed to say, unable to tear her eyes away from his face, wanting to catch every reaction, every possible flicker of upset or angry or worry that passed over his face.

There was none of that.

A smile so wide it nearly split his face in half spread across his lips and in that instant, Camila felt her worries melt away.