𝗜𝗳 𝗜 𝗗𝗶𝗲 𝗧𝗼𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗼𝘄 🤍

•𝗕𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝘁𝘀•

•🗡•

Vince's POV, February 14th 2005

Mötley Crüe were on tour, yes, I'd managed to convince Tommy and Mick that touring was a good idea for Nikki and it wasn't an easy task it took talking to them every day for a week to get them to agree but they did.

Performing over the last few days had certainly made Nikki more like himself, it has helped him like he said it would but I'm still keeping an eye on him and can't help but look at him every once in a while and just feel sad, I'm not sure why but I can't help it.

Further updates on Nik are that Nikki's wearing jackets and long sleeve shirts all the time now ever since we've been on the road, which has only been a few days, not wanting fans to notice the scars on his wrists, sure the tattoos helped mask them a little but they were still pretty obvious, covering them made Nikki feel safer so I hadn't questioned him on the choice.

The bandages that had been covering the scars had been taken fully off his wrists a couple of days before our first gig on the tour as they were no longer needed.

But this creates a new problem, Nikki hates the scars that he left on his wrists, it's another reason why he wears the constant long sleeves, I saw nothing wrong with the scars but Nikki hated them with such a passion, he covers them whenever he could... he even keeps a long sleeve shirt on now when we have sex- he gets really self conscious over them, though he knows I'd never say anything about them or judge him for them he saw a problem with the scars so he hid them from himself, me and the rest of the world.

The only time I saw them was when I'd change Nikki's bandages over, he couldn't do it himself... that would have involved looking at them... so the duty of making sure the cuts were kept clean fell to me, I didn't mind... but Nikki always looked so disgusted with himself whenever I had to do it.

Nikki didn't want a constant reminder of what he did, but right now there wasn't much option about it, I have no doubt he'll tattoo over them at some point but they're still not healed enough for that so he's basically just stuck with them for the time being.

We had a show tonight, a show we were currently backstage for after completing it a few minutes ago, we were just being fussed over by people like usual when we got off stage, Nikki looked borderline annoyed at the attention like usual but when they eventually left us alone Tommy and Mick went off, or more like Mick went off and Tommy trailed behind him talking mindlessly about nothing, I laugh to myself slightly as I see Mick roll his eyes as he walked off already being done with Tom.

Tommy didn't realise half the time how irritating he could be, however, he's being slightly less jumpy and hyper I've noticed... and he looks at Nikki in the same way I do, with worry... Nikki's suicide attempt still affected him more than I think even Tom realises.

As the drummer and guitarist left the facility, my eyes shift to Nikki who was stood a few feet from me chatting with one of the sound guys and although he was laughing with him I could just see the pain deep in Nikki's face.

As I continued to stare at him Nikki eventually seemed to realise I was staring at him and cast a look in my direction seeing the manor I was staring at him, he sent me a small smile before excusing himself from the guy he was talking to, placing his hands in his pockets and walking over to me slowly.

"You don't have to watch me like that... y'know, I'm okay..." Nikki said softly looking at me sadly, he was slowly accepting the fact I worried about him instead of fighting me on it every time I showed him any concern.