The word is 'attempt'

A Mother's Love. A Husband's Regret.

Yanli was glad that her father didn't dismiss her words. She knew she had to speak her mind, she couldn't take it anymore after all, but she hadn't known if it would even make a difference. But it did! Somehow, it did. A-Cheng's tears weren't from frustration, but joy and A-Xian looked lighter than she'd ever seen him. But of course there were still things that needed to be addressed if they were to move forward as a family.

"Well, now that Father has said his piece, it's your turn Mother," said Yanli, looking to her mother expectantly.

"My turn to what? How dare you speak to me like this!"

"To apologise Mother," said Yanli sternly.

Yu Ziyuan sputtered, and continued icily, "Apologise? And pray tell what exactly should I be apologising for? For looking out for your brother's best interests? For putting him first like your father should have been doing?"

"For always making A-Cheng feel like he's not good enough! For always pitting him and A-Xian against each other. For creating competition and resentment between them. For treating a child like he's the one who wronged you!" Yanli's words were barbed.

Yu Ziyuan's eyes were wide. Her daughter had never spoken back to her before.

"We all love and respect you, Mother, even A-Xian. He never says a bad word against you even though he's always punished more than the others. I know he's the head disciple and he often gets into mischief and leads the younger ones into trouble and that is definitely on him, but sometimes you go too far. You don't have to like him, but you have no right to treat him so harshly either. Even if he was indeed Father's child, then Father would be the one in the wrong.

A-Xian may be playful and a bit reckless but he's innocent. He hasn't done you any wrong. He was so small when he came to us. He suffered on the streets without his parents. You didn't have to treat him like a son, but you could have at least been kind to him. Just because he always seems carefree doesn't mean he doesn't have his own worries and hurts. It must be so painful to him to hear how you accuse his mother, who he must miss so dearly, of adultery. Have you ever thought of what would be the case if your accusations were wrong? How can you slander a dead woman who can't defend herself? Even if it were true, why take it out on the child who did not ask to be in that position?"

"Be kind to him?" Yu Ziyuan snarled, "I've been kind to him. I was kind enough to let him become a disciple. Kind enough to let him eat at the same table as us, live in the same room as my son-- the heir to the sect, have the same comfortable life as my own children. Kind enough to let him stay, even when he brings all sorts of trouble to our door! How often does he lose face for our sect with his arrogant behaviour? Have I thrown him out yet?! As for his parentage, your father has never before defended himself after all, what else was I supposed to think Jiang Yanli?! Cangse Sanren may be dead but my husband, her 'great friend', is right here. Has he even once defended her? If it isn't true as he now says, then who was really the one allowing slander!? Do you even understand how rumours can affect your standing as a woman?

When you're married I hope you never have to understand how it feels for others to talk about how much your husband prefers another woman to you, prefers her son to yours. I hope you never have to understand how dangerous it is for your own children's positions when your husband has illegitimate children or rumours of them that people believe! I tried my best to secure a good marriage for you, where you would have a good mother-in-law who would look out for you and protect you because of her affection for us, but of course, thanks to Wei Wuxian, your engagement is broken! Yet you still defend him like this?!"

"San'niang..." Father said, before Yanli could say anything, "I apologise." And shocking all of them, he kowtowed in front of her.

"W..what are you doing? Get up!" Mother said shakily. Her face had gone stark white. When he made no move she grabbed his arms and pulled, forcing him upright. He still remained kneeling in front of her.