SDMN| Stories

• TRAFFIC | VIK & TOBI

TW: Self Harm | Read at your own risk
"Vik you need to get up, we have a shoot in two hours and I want to beat traffic."

Groaning, Vik rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He was up until early that morning and usually slept till the afternoon, but the latest schedule had messed with his sleeping habits. This left him tired and groggy, wanting nothing more than to pull the covers back over his head and return to his peaceful slumber.

"Vik! I'm not kidding lad, get up!" Tobi yelled again from the bathroom where he had previously showered.

As Vik went to prop himself up onto his elbows, a dull ache shot through his arms, throbbing. He grunted, allowing himself to flip back down into the mattress.

The ache reminded him of just why he was up so late, and unwanted thoughts began to flood back in. With heavy movements, he dragged his arms across his chest, screwing his eyes shut in pain. Dampness seeped into his shirt - the same one he has been in for the past two days - which startled him.

Oh fuck...

"Seriously get up!"

Tobi had emerged from the bathroom, fresh cologne applied which stung the inside of Vik's nose, and a frown displayed on his face.

"Yeah... yeah, I'm getting up, alright? I'm sorry." There was guilt ringing through his body as he carefully sat up, making sure the blanket was firmly over his body.

Vik watched as Tobi's expression changed, concern flushing out any frustration. The atmosphere was tense as the two just held eye contact, neither saying anything. The younger stayed as still as possible, mind rushing.

How am I going to get cleaned up? He can't see. He has to leave. Why am I such an idiot? Why did I do that? He's going to be torn if he ever found out. You're stupid, Vik. What the fuck did you think you were doing? For fucks sake.

Deciding to break the awkward silence, Vik opened his mouth to ask Tobi to leave, but Tobi beat him to it.

"You alright, Vik?"

If there was any question Vik could get rid of forever, it would be that one. Those two - occasionally three - words crushed him. It was a question that was thrown around so much, but when there's something wrong there seems to be no answer. He couldn't just play it off as 'I'm fine' or 'yeah, just tired', not to Tobi. Tobi could tell.

He tried to speak, the words piling up in his throat, scratching away with sharp claws. His older friend sat beside him on the bed, causing his whole body to stiffen.

"Yeah." Vik's voice cracked, the simple word coming out as if it was holding back a million others. If he said too much, it would all come out.

"I know you were up late again last night, but we have to get the shoot. You're probably tired and all man, it's fine. But we'll get yellows if we're late- you know how strict Josh and that have been lately-"

A sob racked through Vik at hearing how gentle his friends' words were. He doesn't deserve to see me like this. I'm such a wreck. Tobi instantly put a hand onto Vik's shoulder to comfort him. With a glance up, Vik made eye contact and broke down.

"Y-you have to go, Tobi. Tobi, please... I'll be out I promise. Just l-leave me here. I didn't mean to, I promise I'm so sorry. I'm useless, I just thought it would make things better and it didn't because now everything's worse and I don't know what to do." He rambled, stuttering over his words between sobs.

There was silence again as the boys sat, neither knowing what to do. Gently, Tobi wrapped his arm around Vik's shoulders, squeezing him lightly.

"What are you talking about? Just breathe, it's ok, it's ok. Tell me what's wrong."

"I- I..."

You can't tell him. You'll break him.

"Please, leave."

Slowly, Tobi's arm dropped from Vik's shoulders, hurt glistening through his eyes. In silence, he stood up, nodding, and made his way out of the room.

Vik shuffled his way to the bathroom, blinded by tears. He couldn't bring himself to look at his arms. Looking away, he turned the shower on, gently pulling his clothes off.

Warm water burnt the cuts on his arms as he stood under the water, falling droplets masking his tears. Regret covered his expression, pooling in his eyes. He didn't want to shut Tobi out the way he did, but he couldn't bear hurting his best friend.

Once he was finished letting the water wash over him, he stepped out and wrapped the towel around his torso. Glancing around the bathroom, he realized he forgot clothes and sighed.

Why can't I do anything right?

Vik was startled by a light knock on the unlocked door - another thing he'd forgotten to do - and the door creaked open a slither. Frozen, he could only watch as a small stack of clothes was sat on the side of the bathroom shelf before the door clicked shut.

Carefully, he made his way over, confused, as to why Tobi would do such a thing. There were his usual Sidemen clothes, neat black bottoms and a pair of boxers as well as socks, which he gratefully put on. Then, he got to a first aid kit with a note.

'Everything you need should be in here, it may sting a little but it'll help. There's a long sleeve shirt here and it's a cold day, so don't worry about any of the lads.
You can talk to me when you're ready, but I understand. You're doing great and I'm proud of you.
Now hurry up so we can beat the traffic. :)
- Toe-bee'