A Little Longer

Ch:2

Coming home with a smile on my face was something old Louis would do. But here I was having a pretty smile on my face. When I entered my house, I saw my mum sitting on the couch and sipping her extra sugar tea. She loved tea and that too with so much sugar in it. Our eyes met for a second and I could feel my smile turning into a frown. My mom, i could see her face, she looked like she hasn't slept for nights and had cried for days. And I knew what was wrong, I knew my father did something again, no he was not abusive. But he did had major anger issues. He really said that he wanted to die in front of Me and my small sisters once. And all his anger it came down on me or mom. So I knew something happened again. So I went to her and asked her, what happened but to my surprise, she really started yelling things like " How many times I have to yell at you to make you eat something, you always do drama, you are so dramatic. All the problems we face are because of you, you are so selfish, and I know you are here sitting beside me because you want something, don't you? you are just like your dad. " I could feel tears starting to rush down my cheeks, I was so happy, why would she make me sad, why would she say such thing to me, why? How can she say I was like him?
I ran to my room crying. I could feel it come into me again, I could feel the need to do it again, the urge was killing me. I ran to my study desk and took the cutter from there and ran to my bathroom. I could feel it, the adrenaline rush telling me to do it, I could hear her saying that again and again, I could hear them saying all those things they said and could feel the anger, the pain and I did it. I gushed the blade again and again on my thighs, I could see the blood coming out, the white flesh of my skin but I was so blinded by the things happened to me I didn't stopped. I did it until I calmed down and I stopped sobbing after few cuts. I felt happy, I know if I ever tell anyone how I feel when I cut myself they will definitely call me "freak" And then will stop talking to me. But it did made me feel like things were alright, this was the only thing I could control in my life. Nothing else.
*****
I was now in my bed trying to sleep. But the thing which bugged me was, I was normal now. Like nothing ever happened, like I never did that or like my mum never yelled at me. I had this habit. I am a kind of person who can never be sad, angry or irritated and even happy for long period of time. My moods changes in minutes and now I was laying in my bed thinking about him, harry.
That person, we clicked so easily. It was like I knew who he was, like we've been friends for many years. It was nice finally meeting someone who's presence made me happy, I could feel it in my bones that I could trust him. And that's what I did.
I asked my so called "friends" To arrange his number, well another benefit of being the oldest student of this school. And after waiting for an hour or so, I got it. I had his number, I could call him right now. I didn't know what to do, should I call him? Won't he think I am a creep? What if it becomes awkward? I was snapped out of my thoughts by my ringtone, unknown, who would call me? My heart stopped for a minute. What if it was them? What if they called me again? I was so horrified but I still managed to pick it up.
"Hello" That was all I was able to say, feeling emptiness in my stomach.
"Hey louis, this is harry" Oh my god, It was harry..
How did he got my number? Was he too thinking about me? Oh wait I have a fucking boyfriend-
"Louis, you there" He asked again worry in his voice.
"Oh yeah yeah, hey harry, how did you got my number? " I managed to ask him still being full of surprises and questions.
"I don't know someone msged me on Instagram, asking for my number, and when I asked him why, he told me because you asked him to. So I said I will only give my number if he will give your number in return. So that's how I got it"
Harry said, I could feel him smiling on the other side of phone.
I thought who the hell would give my number to a newbie, and I made a mental note to teach them a lesson. Obviously I was happy he gave it to harry because now I didn't had to call him first but still what if it was someone else. What if someone else wanted my number and that stupid would have given it to him.
"Louis are you there? " He asked again worrying.
"Oh yeah yeah I am, urm I was just thinking about something, how are you Harry? " I asked.
"Yeah I am fine, how are you Louis? "
"M fine harry, was just thinking about you. " Shit, I didn't. I just told him that I was thinking about him oh no!
"Oh Louis Tomlinson, already missing me" He laughed like genuinely laughed.
Yay! I again made him laugh. I thought to myself.
It was always a nice thing, making someone laugh.
"Oh c'mon styles, btw you know what-"
And we talked atleast for 2 hours about different things, small topics and big topics. It was fun, talking to someone and not feeling them judging me. But after 2 hours of talking we had to end it, harry had some chores and I was also feeling sleepy now.
So we said our goodbyes and I dozed off to my sleep, thinking about a curly headed guy, who made me and my mood happy.
But I still felt like I was doing something wrong. This was not me, I am not meant to be happy. I deserve all the worst things of world not an angel who's laugh was like the best music one could hear and whose eyes were like the best painting ever made in the universe. I didn't deserve to know him or even to talk to him.

Okay, so I like it this ch. This ch has some personal feelings attach, the self harming part was my best. I could feel my hands working by themselves.
Hope u liked it. Pls vote and comment .
Btw what's your favorite 1D song.
Don't ask me... I have manyy..
                                         ~C, x