A Little Longer

Ch:3

Today's morning was different, I didn't felt the need to groan about dying in my sleep.
There was a soft smile on my face and I went in my bathroom like that, thinking about Mr. Styles.
Yeah I thought to myself that I don't deserve him and I should not talk to him but I can't, I can't stop thinking about him. And yeah I do have a boyfriend and I like him very much but harry was different, I didn't had a crush on him, or did I?
My thought's train was disturbed when I heard a knock on the door. It was my mom. I just pressed a smile at her. Okay so I remember she said some very bad things to me but I knew she didn't meant any of it. I knew she said all those things because she was angry and sad and a bit frustrated.
She came near me and without saying a thing hugged me, she hugged me so tightly that I wasn't able to breathe. And all I could do was comfort her. She said " Oh my boo bear, I am so very sorry for saying all those pathetic things to you and I know that you forgave me because you are hugging me right now" She said smiling and looking down so she could see my face. "I don't deserve a child like you Louis, I am not a good mother. I am sorry" She said, this time I could hear her voice cracking. And when I looked up I could see tears in her eyes. I quickly wiped her tears and told her "Hey mum, I love you, you know that right and no, I am not or never will be mad at you, and dare you say that you are a bad mum or you don't deserve me. Of course I was sad but that doesn't mean I won't understand what you are going through. I am mature enough mom. " I said hugging her again.
She scoffed and hugged me back " All grown up huh".
*****
I was happier than ever, I sought things out with mumma, and I didn't thought about cutting or that I don't deserve harry and I wanted to eat. I was all happy happy when I came down the stairs, to my Hall. I wanted to eat a bit, not much but some fruits. So I went in the kitchen and I could feel my legs sticking to the ground, my throat becoming tight. I could see him, dad, he was sitting on the counter, eating his breakfast. I wanted to go back to my room or to run away to school but I didn't, I was just stuck there. I was even hungry because the last time I ate was with harry yesterday. And shit, she saw me. Mum started calling me to her. So I went in the kitchen and sat beside dad. I wished him a "good morning" And I was hoping for nothing bad to happen. I could see his face normal, so I knew he was being regular now. Just as I thought to start the conversation, I heard his deep, strong voice calling mum, "sweetie". Oh no! I thought to myself, I could sense his anger coming up. My sweet mum came near him and asked him what was wrong.
"How many fucking times do I have to tell you that don't give me mango juice, give me a glass of orange juice" He shouted, like literally shouted.
I thought to myself why the hell was he being so dramatic, it's just a juice. Can't he be normal for once and normally, politely ask my mum for another glass or another juice. But no his face said a different story. He was so angry that he threw the glass at my mum. She dodged ofcourse and the glass hit the ground and broke into many small pieces, they were my heart, I could my heart breaking. I can see my mom pulling herself together and trying not to cry. Repeating " I am so sorry love, please forgive me." But knew I couldn't do that, I ran out of my house and started walking towards my school.
I wanted to cry, scream. I wanted to fell down to the ground and cry , cry until it all stopped, until I lose all my emotions. But I couldn't. I wasn't able to cry. I was so horrified by all of it that I walked in my school with just a straight face.
I just wanted to meet zayn and cry on his shoulders, he knew how to handle an emotionless Louis.
And there he was against my locker, talking to victor. I reached them and pecked my lips to Victor's, his hand reached towards my lower back, I could feel he wanted more, he wanted to fuck me but I always made some excuses. I couldn't let myself be naked in front of anyone after that day. It was a total no for me. I knew how I kissed victor each day, fighting my demons. But victor, he always pushed me to do more things. And here he was doing it again. I was about to say, fuck off victor and slap him. I was really that angry but zayn interrupted and changed the topic asking victor how many times did he met kylie jenner. Well victor loved talking about how rich his family was and how he celebrated his 16th birthday with the Kardashians. So zayn was able to distract him easily. I know people would ask why am I still with an arsehole like him but the truth was, I didn't had the balls to break up with him and to be honest I kind of liked him, he never asked me to eat food, and I could easily use his name in front of zayn, telling him that I ate with vic. He once even saw my scars but never asked me or acted like he care, maybe he didn't saw them. I don't really know.
So victor started his rant again but I could see the worry in zayn's eyes. I knew that zayn probably knew something was wrong. Moments like this made me so happy, I was lucky enough to have someone who could tell by my face something was wrong. The only problem was that zayn thought I was always overreacting and he never really understood any of it.
And the bell rang, I frowned because I really wanted to talk to zayn but now I have to wait till 4.
*****
I entered my classroom as always looking at the ground and avoiding as many possible eye contacts I can.
I wobbled to my seat. I felt a large hand on my back, I tensed but relaxed quickly when I came to know it was harry. Just like yesterday grinning at me with sparkly eyes. I could feel my mood lifting up but not that much, it wasn't that easy for me to smile back.
Our first class started and he and I both sat in silence for almost the whole class. I knew he was staring at me the whole time. At the end he broke the silence. "Hey Louis, I can feel the tension, I mean is something wrong. Why are you looking so sad, did I do something wrong? "
The last question made me think, why would this person think he did something wrong, he literally made me feel okay since he came in this room. Radiating all the positivity he brought. "I am fine, and no harry you didn't do anything wrong, it's just that my-" I paused, what the hack am I thinking, how the hell in the world can I tell someone whom I met yesterday, about my life. No I won't, so I didn't said anything after it. But I think he too felt that "Hey it's fine lou, if you don't wanna talk about it. But I wanna do something to make you feel better" He said, placing a hand on my thigh.
Aw, he is thinking how to make me happy. But all these thoughts went way because of that nickname. I cringed again, that name! I loved it so much once but now it was just a scar they left.
But I still managed to ask, " What would you even do harry? "
He laughed, how can someone laugh so easily and his laugh brings serious butterflies in my stomach.
"We could bunk our classes and go to shoppingg!" Putting extra efforts in the last word, he started doing a small dance.
I laughed, I mean ofcourse I did. He looked cute as well as weird doing that dance. His big body bouncing side by side.
I nodded with excitement.
I was kind of excited to go out with this human.
This way I would get a chance to know more about him and obviously my mood was already getting better, so a win-win chance for me.
So we sneaked out of our school by the back door, again a perk of being the oldest student,I know each and every path out of my school without getting caught.
I smiled, because this was something old Louis would do, maybe I was becoming like him again.

Hey guys!! Okay so this week I will try and post a chapter a day, but after a week.
I will be posting it twice or thrice a weeks.
I have exams. *cries in the corner*
Hope you like this ch, vote and follow.
                                                ~C, x