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Dear Dad, Mom, Se-jun, Se Hyung,
My heart is heavy. I am overwhelmed by a tidal wave of hopelessness and despair washes over me. Every. Single. Day.
My life hurts. It always had and it will always be. Was I just brought into this world to be sad?
Why am I being made to pay for the sin I did not commit?
No matter how much I tried to be good, my family, you, if I can even call you that treated me like dirt.
For years, I called for help, cried at night, no one was there, no one listened.
You hate me, used me, played me, betrayed me, hurt me.
My life has literally been one awful experience after another. Doing what was expected, even going beyond expectations, to fill an emptiness that just wouldn't go away.
My heartbreak is a grief that comes in waves, gruelling, stealing my appetite and sleep alike.
I was sinking fast but you were busy getting rich and competiting with each other to notice.
I have all the material wealth that most people envy but I have none of what truly matters to me-a family. Love.
When you know you will never have what you've wanted your entire life, the meaning to life vanishes. There becomes absolutely no meaning to any of it.
I gave up hope completely. I have no hope for tomorrow anymore. I have finally accepted that you wouldn't be there for me when I need you most. I don't have a place in your life. Never did. Never will there be.
Mom, I love you with all my heart, and I will always will. I am leaving this world to which I never truly belonged. With my passing, may you finally be happy.
I couldn't take anymore misery. There is just so much pain. I am tired. So tired.
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Be happy without me. Move on without me.
Goodbye, Seri
- The End -
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Author's Notes
Other than the recording, I have often wondered what the content would have been if Seri wrote a letter while aboard that ship on her way to Iseltwald.
Dolent (Adj), meaning full of sorrow, is my interpretation of the theme for D22 (Wildcard-Foggy) #CLOYTOBER 2021.
Do share your thoughts. I appreciate them very much.
