I didn't ask for this

50

Today is not going to be a good day, I can feel it in my bones, I woke up with an unsettling feeling on my chest I can't get rid of

I got ready for early morning practice, it's currently 7am.

Lo: i do not know why they insist on having practice so early, I don't function before 9
E: my brain does not work before 11, I don't know how I get through the mornings, really

I talk with Lola while warming up before starting,  what I call the real season just started and I've been nervous about it since coach has been on my ass ever since I've been dating Vinnie, but I'm not anymore.

Coach: okay guys let's start, shall we?

Back at my apartment I found addison and her weird new boyfriend who I don't really like that much

E: hey Adds, Omer- I wave and get right into my bedroom, I check my phone and weird enough I've got a message from Mia, she has been trying to get in touch with me but after 9 rejected calls and a dozen messages without answer she stopped trying.

That's mean of you, she's your friend

She's his friend who happens to be around me because he's my boyfriend

EX boyfriend

I know what you might be thinking, I must be coming out as a stupid little hard headed bitch who constantly remarks no one likes her and loves being the victim, and you might be right, but all my life I've been told I've got to get across my big thic skull that people don't always hate me, and that not all people are bad, but time after time I've been used and walked all over, so tell me how am I supposed to trust fully and completely on people I just met.

Think about how good charli, Dixie and Addison turned out.

That's true, all of the girls really, but I also think of little bitch Sophia who slept with my boyfriend

Refer to him as your boyfriend one more time.

I cannot get Vinnie out of my head.

I got changed in some comfy clothes and grabbed Ollie to go for a walk

Ad: bye again
E: you think Dix is home? Maybe Cali can use a walk too
Ad: I think she is, I don't know, check
E: I'll

I rang on Dixies bell and noah opened

N: oh hey Em
E: heey noah is Dixie home?
N: she's not, but I'm here, what did you need?
E: oh nothing, it's ok, I was about to go for a walk with Ollie and thought of Cali
N: she needs to go pee sometime today so why not now- he says while walking back inside and coming out with a leash and some plastic bags- cmon Cali
E: it's ok you don't have to come with me if you don't want to I'm serious
N: Emma you're my friend, why wouldn't I want to go with you? You clearly have something on your mind; so talk to me
E: I don't know Noah...- I say leaving the building with him right behind me
N: you can't push everyone away, Em. Dixie was telling me about how you have been acting this past weeks, in your room all day studying, or practicing, barely talking to anyone, fighting with Vinnie- I tensed at his name and Noah seems to notice because he stops dead in his tracks
N: shit sorry, I didn't know it was that fresh still
E: nono you're fine I just, I'm sad that's all
N: it's okay to be sad, what he did was wrong and it's difficult to just get past it, I should know, I've been cheated on before, but you're strong, and a kind soul, you're amazing to be around, Emma, that's why we don't like to see you close yourself like that, when you were around us with Vinnie you were this cool, chill person who always makes you smile, but you seem... idk, now that you are not with him, it's like we are not even friends anymore
E: I guess I just feel like you are his friends and not mine, like when I lost him I not only lost my boyfriend,bi lost my best friend and with him, all my other friends, it's weird, I just feel like y'all put up with me because I am Vinnies girl

WERE VINNIES GIRL

E: fuck
N: what?
E: nothing, I just been referring to myself like Vinnies girlfriend a lot lately, and I'm not anymore
N: takes a while to get used to the thought of not being with the one you love anymore, but you'll make it. As for the friends thing, we all love you, and we are here for you, it doesn't matter how we met or who you dated, we want you for you.
E: thanks, Noah- I hug him and he chuckles to the sudden love demonstration
N: anytime Stewart- I smile- oh, Ollie- he pointed at my dog who was taking the biggest shit of his life
E: he decides to take a shit the size of Texas just when I'm starting to feel better, nice- Noah laughs and I do too
N: clean it Cinderella
E: fuck you.