I feel like a vampire forced to show his real nature. Rawr !
Since my tamed feelings didn't get through, it was time for the floodgates to open.
I took a big breath, put my hands on Jungwon's shoulders and said something like:
"Jungwon, I don't force myself, I contain myself.
You see, I have the fattest crush on you since the first time I laid my eyes on you.
I think your eyes are beautiful, your mouth is beautiful, your personality is my type, and your cheeks, and your nose, and your laugh, and...
Well, I basically am obsessed with you since way before I confessed my feelings to you.
Besides, that day, I didn't want to say "I like you", but "I love you so much, Jungwon, please let me stay by your side forever and let me protect you and love you no matter what.".
So, if you feel like I don't smile much and don't spend that much time with you, it's because I'm afraid that if I let myself go, you'd be terrified and run away from me.
If I didn't contain myself, I'd spend every second of my damn life with you. I'd wait until I pass out to sleep because I miss you when I close my eyes, and I-
Well, I'd probably be very annoying and very cringy.
So really, believe me it would not bother me one bit to spend even more than one life waiting for you to be ready to take even a tenth of a step forward in our relationship.
I'm sorry you felt that way because I'm so bad at conveying my feelings. And just so you know, when you're near me, I'm NEVER not flustered and I...would probably understand if you fled from me after hearing all of this..."
I'd say...more than half of this discourse wasn't rehearsed a thousand times in front of my mirror. Maybe more than a quarter, at least...
