Ashes of Cinder

33

Dropping your jaw, that was the last thing you expected to hear. What did he just say? Heart racing against your chest, you yanked your hand away from his warm palms. The point still stood. You needed a fresh breather to clear your mind. What he just did to you caused quite the opposite. Your head was beginning to hurt to the point you could barely comprehend anything -- especially the confession. Taking a few deep breaths, you whirled from him and started your way across the room. "I need to go."

Ignoring the strings of protests that followed behind you, you strode through the back door and entered into the chilly air. Soft grass below your bare feet, you soaked the outside world in and went ahead. The land stretched far from you and the dense trees waited in the distance. Walking in silence, you trained your eyes on anything that could distract you from what had happened: the birds in the sky, the ladybug that crawled on a plant's stem, the sun rising from the horizons, and so on.

It didn't go as planned. The thoughts continued to surge into your mind, haunting you.

I think I'm in love with you. What the hell?! How could he... why would he... love, much less, like you? All you did was burden him with your problems. You were not going to deny it though... you had caught feelings for him too. Your beating heart was living proof for that. But that wasn't the problem here. You had too much on your plate and with the addition of this newfound discovery, you were ready to combust at any second. Why would he reveal his feelings at a time like this? It was so unlike him. Usually, he never would make such an insensitive move. So what changed?

The thick woods towered over you like a hungry beast. Suddenly regretting your decision to leave the shop without your shoes, you gingerly stepped upon the rough land. Your entire focus shifted to the ground as you made sure not to cut your feet with rocks. So, so stupid. It was idiotic of you to leave without shoes when your feet weren't even fully healed yet.

You weren't sure what to do. When you returned to the shop, how were you going to face him? What were you going to say? What was going to be his reaction? You ran away from his confession, so was he going to be hurt? That wasn't your intention, but he had overwhelmed you.

Thinking back to a memory with your father, you remembered the day he was giving you a lecture on boys. A small smile laid there on your lips while you rewind it through your head.

The tall man entered into the house after a day's work, sweat matting his face and arms. He went over to the room over and slumped down on a chair, breathing heavily. Dark circles adorned beneath his eyes as he let out a yawn, but his face soon brightened when little you entered the room, holding a pink flower on the side. Going up to him, he gently picked you up and set you on his lap. "Hello, my sweet [Y/N]. What have you been up to today?"

"Daddy! I got this for you!" you said, shoving the flower into his face. He laughed at your excitement and graciously took it from you, smelling it to please you.

"Where did you get this from?" he asked you, curiosity glinting in his eyes.

"From the boy who lives on the other side of the street!" you exclaimed, looking proud.

Your father choked on his spit at the sound of this and coughed for a few moments. He blinked at you in bewilderment, frowning as a surge of protectiveness crept into him. As the only daughter he only ever had, you were viewed as someone very precious to him. "What did you say?" he muttered, drilling a hole into you with his stare.

"A boy gave me it," you repeated innocently.

He let out a sigh at this and placed you down on the chair beside him. Clearing his throat, he seemed to be thinking hard, his brows scrunched up. "Okay. So you can have friends who are boys, but the thing is, you need to be careful around them. Hmm... I'm not just talking about now, but think back to this in the future, alright? When you're grown up... argh, I don't want to think of you growing up yet." You tilted your head to the side. He tried it again. "When you're older, I want you to be weary of who you accompany yourself with. I want you to choose the right people to spend time with and the right person to fall in love with."

It wasn't surprising that a child like you wouldn't take this conversation too seriously. "Ew... love? That's gross," you whined, scrunching your nose.

Your father laughed again, shaking his head. "That's right. For now, keep it that way, won't you? But I'm serious sweetie, there can be bad people out there. They have hidden motives that can eventually hurt you in the end... I don't ever want to get you hurt. Can you promise me? That you will remember this?"

Nodding your head slowly, you held out your pinky and waited for him to hold his own out. Wrapping your miniscule one around his big, warm finger, you had a proud face on. "I pinky swear."

Zoning back into the present, you sighed to yourself. It was interesting how you somehow did keep this promise made, considering you were thinking of it now. The more you thought about your father, the more you missed him. He cared so much for you and his warnings rang true. Deciding to apply his lecture into your real life example, you thought of Blaise.

He was someone who easily got jealous; you noticed that when the two of you would speak of the Prince. But could you honestly blame him for that? You were the same as him -- face turning green of envy while you lived under stepmother's rule. And the only reason he was acting that way was because of his feelings towards you... feelings were sometimes the reason to why people act irrationally.

You truly believed he was a good person and not someone you needed to avoid. He had helped you through so much already that your life was intertwined with his. He had his flaws, but you couldn't even try to convince yourself that he was a bad person.

The decision was final. You would not cut him from your life. At the very least, he should stay as your friend.

Finally taking a look at your surroundings, you were amidst trees, trees, and more trees. Shit. Were you going to remember your way back? You turned around 360 degrees and something caught your attention. In the corner of your eyes, you noticed a pretty, blue color on the ground a few meters away. Mystified by it, you headed over there and walked through some tall bushes to find a mesmerizing lake. Your breath taken away for a minute, you could only stand and stare.

Clear, blue water stretched among acres, rippling in the slight breeze. The newly sun beaming down on it to reflect sparkles within the small waves, it looked calm and peaceful. On the outskirts of the lake were banks lingering of golden leaves and tall weeds. It was the epitome of fall -- the colors matched well to produce a cozy feeling in the pits of your stomach. Kneeling down in front of it, you looked down to see a reflection of you, a mixture of tired and amazed as your expression.

[e/c] hues stared back at you. Before you could get lost in yourself, you splashed cold water onto your face, drenching your skin and hair of it. You couldn't allow yourself to overthink again.

A rustle caused you to turn around in fear. The fear soon faded into surprise when you saw that it was Blaise. Well, at least it wasn't a serial killer. And at least you weren't lost in the woods anymore.

Yet something still weighed on you. How did he find you so fast?

Walking to the lake's bank with his strides long, he halted in front of you, his gaze careful. If he was hurt by your response earlier, he didn't show it. "I want to apologize to you," he murmured. "I shouldn't have done what I did this morning. You're still grieving, but I was being selfish and did not give you the time nor space to do so. I just couldn't help it... I think I've been bottling it up for too long and when things got too heated between us, I lost control of myself."

"I forgive you, but you don't need to apologize. I was overreacting anyway," you said, shaking your head.

"I do," he insisted. "I want to also lay this out there. You don't need to give me an answer anytime soon. Only whenever you're ready."

You nodded at him, a soft smile on your lips. Whenever you were ready.

He sat down beside you on the bank, the leaves crinkling satisfyingly. His hazel green hues staring out into the distance, the light of the sun casted onto his face, making him glow. The smatter of freckles on his cheeks became more defined, the crook of his nose was structured perfectly, and his lips seemed smooth. He was so beautiful to you. He was so kind to you. If he crossed a line, he was always quick to apologize to you. What more could you ever want? So... what if you could give him an answer to his question today?