👌
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Andy: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.
Girlfriend: The cow???
Andy: What?
Pico: Girlfriend, W H Y?
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Girlfriend: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life
Andy: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?
Girlfriend: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.
Pico: edible
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*The group is getting into the car*
Girlfriend: I'm driving.
Andy, out of view: Shotgun!
Pico, turning to face Andy: Aww! But you had it on the way here-
Everyone except Andy: WOAH-
Andy, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*
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Girlfriend: If Andy and I were drowning, who would you save?
Pico: You two can't swim?
Andy: It's a hypothetical question, Pico! who would you save?
Pico: my time and effort.
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Girlfriend: Here's a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Andy: Girlfriend no.
Pico: Mistlefoe.
Andy: Please stop encouraging them.
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Pico: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Andy?
Andy: ... No.
Girlfriend: I do!
Pico: I know, Girlfriend.
Girlfriend: I'm sad!
Pico: I know, Girlfriend.
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Pico: Girlfriend, can I talk to you for a second?
Girlfriend: Yeah, what's up? Lemme guess. You and Andy are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?
Pico: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I've read books.
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Girlfriend: What time is it?
Andy: I don't know; pass me that saxophone and we'll find out
Andy: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*
Pico: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING
Andy: It's 2 am
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Girlfriend: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?
Andy: How am I supposed to know?
Pico: You say, as if we don't use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.
Andy: *sighs*
Andy: You wouldn't be trapped.
(I could see this actually being a real conversation between them)
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Pico: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?
Andy: *turning to Girlfriend* How tall are you?
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Pico: Andy, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?
Andy: I don't know, love you, talk to you later
Pico: Ok, I love you too, I'll just ask Girlfriend.
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Girlfriend: Hey Andy,
Andy: Yes?
Girlfriend: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it's on?
Andy:
Andy: Where's Pico?
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Girlfriend: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Andy: Wasn't Pico with you?
Pico: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
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*Girlfriend and Andy sitting in jail together*
Andy: So who should we call?
Girlfriend: I'd call Pico, but I feel safer in jail
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Pico: Andy and I are having a baby.
Girlfriend: That's gre-
Pico, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.
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Pico: Come on, I wasn't that drunk last night.
Girlfriend: You were flirting with Andy.
Pico: So what? They're my partner.
Girlfriend: You asked them if they were single.
Pico:
Girlfriend: And then you cried when they said they weren't.
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Girlfriend: They stole from me first!
Andy: Mhm.
Girlfriend: Stole my heart...
Pico: It is still illegal to commit murder.
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Girlfriend: How's the sexiest person here~?
Andy: I don't know, how are they~?
Girlfriend, flustered: I-
Pico, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!
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Girlfriend, negotiating with Andy: We have Pico. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed
Pico: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I'm only worth ten thousand dollars?
Girlfriend:
Pico: MAKE IT ONE MILLION–
Girlfriend: PICO STOP
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Girlfriend: I can't believe you live nearby, and you won't let anyone crash at your place.
Andy: You people already know too much about me.
Pico: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won't let any of us crash at your place.
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Girlfriend, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
Andy: You did WHAT–
Pico: William Snakepeare
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Girlfriend, texting Andy: Andy! Help I'm being kidnapped
Andy: Where are you?
Girlfriend: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.
Andy: I'll call Pico.
Pico, answering their cell: Y'ello?
Andy: Where's Girlfriend? They texted me that they were being kidnapped.
Pico: Girlfriend? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me-
Pico:
Pico: I'll call you back. *hangs up*
Pico: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!
Girlfriend: WHO ARE YOU?!
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Girlfriend: What did you do with Pico's body?
Andy: What didn't I do with the body?
Girlfriend:
Andy: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.
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11/13/2021
Pico: I have... feelings for you..
Andy: I have... feelings for you..
Girlfriend: The feeling was friendship!
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YOU ARE READING
Friday night funkin x reader oneshots
FanfictionI made the cover lol. Anyway, as the titles says, for all you fnf simps. Ranks: Updated: 03/16/2022 #10 in #Picofnf #5 in #fnfboyfriend #2 in #girlfriendnfnf #2 in #boyfriendfnf #41 in #fnfgirlfriend #51 in #fnfpico
