We Have a Problem

Part 7

Four days later, and Carina was having a hard time. Maya's lungs weren't getting better. They were cloudy, and she had to be put in the prone position which they did with patients who were very sick to help their lungs more after she maxed her vent settings. Luckily, that had done the trick, at least for the moment, and Maya's oxygen was back to normal.

 Carina hadn't gone home since Maya had gone back to the hotel since Maya had been admitted, instead sleeping in her office just in case something happened.

 On the afternoon of the fourth day, as Carina was leaving Maya's room, Teddy and Meredith walked up to her.

"Hey, can we talk?" Teddy said, "Maybe outside?"

Carina nodded, feeling her heartrate increase as they walked.

"What do you want to talk about?" Carina asked as found their way to the doctor's tent that had become their lounge.

"Well, Maya's latest x-rays are not showing any improvement," Meredith said as gently as she could, "And it might be time to..."

"No," Carina said, tears filling her eyes immediately, "No, it's not time. It's not her time. We... we just got started. She has so much more to... no. I am not ready to take her off life support."

"Ok," Teddy said, putting a hand on Carina's back, "Ok. We won't. Not yet."

"Is... is there a chance she will get better?" Carina asked, her chest tight as she asked.

"We don't know," Meredith said, "With her lungs like they are now, some patients get better and some don't. But if she starts to decompensate again, we are just about out of options to help her. She is maxed out on all her meds and her settings."

"Is she... does she still have brain function?" Carina asked, almost not wanting to know the answer.

"From Amelia's assessments, yes," Teddy said, nodding, "Her brain is functioning normally."

"Then we leave her on the vent," Carina said, taking the tissue Teddy offered her, "Give her time to heal."

"Alright," Meredith nodded, "We just wanted you to know where we were, to have a full picture as her medical POA."

"Grazie," Carina nodded, trying to keep herself calm, "I...um...I need to go for a walk right now."

Meredith nodded as Teddy stood, going with her.

"Carina," Teddy said, catching up with her, "Hey, are you ok?"

"Am I...no," Carina said, tears filling her eyes and running down her cheeks quickly, "How...would you be ok if it were Owen? Teddy, she is the love of my life. The woman who has made me want to settle down and commit for the first time in my entire life. She makes my life brighter and even though she thinks she is dark and messy, she is the sunshine in my day. I cannot lose her. I just...I can't..."

And with that, Carina broke down, literally sitting down on the grass, head to her knees, sobbing. Teddy sat down next to her, just rubbing her back.

"We are going to do everything we can," Teddy said, "We are doing everything."

"And yet we just had a conversation about if we should keep her on the vent with no options if she gets worse," Carina spat angrily, immediately regretting her tone, "Sorry."

"It's ok," Teddy said, shaking her head.

The two of them sat there for a long time, Carina just crying, letting out the emotions she had been trying to keep in check for the past few days.