Chapter 1

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ADULT SHELDON: I've always loved trains. In fact, if my career in theoretical physics hadn't worked out, my backup plan was to become a professional ticket taker. Or hobo. And when I figured out that trains allowed me to prove Newton's first law... An object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force... I felt like Neil Armstrong on the moon, alone and happy. 

MARY: Shelly, dinner's ready!

ADULT SHELDON: I don't care how dimwitted you are. Scientific principles have to make you smile. Of course, nobody I knew in East Texas in cared about Newtonian physics. The only Newtons they cared about were Wayne and Fig.

 MISSY: Sheldon, if you don't get in here, - I'm gonna lick your toothbrush! - 

SHELDON: Coming! That's my sister. And she's done it before. ♪ Do the walk of life ♪ ♪ Yeah, he do the walk of life. ♪ 

GEORGE: The hell were you doing out there? 

 MARY: George, language. 

GEORGE: What language? So?

SHELDON: I was exploring dimensional kinematics. GORGE Admit it... He's adopted. 

SHELDON: How can I be adopted when I have a twin sister? Think, monkey, think. 

MARY: That's enough. No one's adopted. 

MISSY: I wish I was. 

MARY: That can still be arranged. Now, let's pray.

 SHELDON: A moment, please. 

MARY: Leave him be. 

GEORGE: can hold hands with his family. It won't kill him. 

SHELDON: We don't know that. Georgie, did you wash your hands before dinner? Or even this week?

GEORGIE: None of your business. 

SHELDON: Hence the mittens. 

MARY: Thank you, God, for this food we're about to receive and for the nourishment of our bodies, and bless the hands that prepared it. 

ALL: Amen. 

GEORGIE: How come we ain't got no tater tots?

MARY: I made tater tots last night. 

GEORGIE: I'd take tater tots over mashed potaters any day. 

MARY: Just eat what I made you. 

GEORGIE: Can we at least have tater tots tomorrow? 

ADULT SHELDON: It was family dinners like this that led me to adopt a mid-Atlantic accent. Nobel Prize winners

 MARY: Everybody excited to start school Monday? 

I am. I guess so. 

MARY: Georgie? Freshman year, that's a big deal. 

GEORGIE: How can I be excited when he's gonna be in the same grade as me and Amber? 

SHELDON: Don't worry, Georgie, I'm not planning on being in the ninth grade for very long. 

MISSY: All I know is he's not in the same grade as me anymore, and I'm thrilled.

SHELDON: Good luck with your finger painting. 

MISSY: You're gonna get your ass kicked in high school. 

MARY: Hey, language. 

SHELDON: I'm not going to be assaulted. High school is a haven for higher learning.

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