Jaise tum na... waise hum

Pragya's confession

Pragya's bedroom

Pragya stood by the window wondering what surprises lay ahead for her today. It seemed like Abhi really wasn't the monster she thought he was for that last two years... 'He is the same person whom I loved, whom I cared for. Par woh kya tha? Unka ghusse me aakar kuch kar baithna, jaise pehle bhi hua hai... ya phir... ya phir kya?'

She knew she wanted to talk about it to Abhi and ask some hard questions which would be difficult for her too but she couldn't help feeling she is in a 'damned if I do and damned if I don't' situation. For if Abhi was innocent, she felt guilty for all that she did, even though it may not have affected him. And if he isn't... 'well... I cant hate him any more can I?... and do I even know how to hate him? ... pehle bhi kar chuki hoon aur haar bhi maan chuki hoon ...'

'And how did he know about what I did to Alia? No one knows that... Sushma aunty? Haan.... Unhone kaha tha na ki subah baat hui thi inse... but he was happy with it? Unhe ab lag raha hai ki maine sab Alia ke khilaaf kiya hai. But what if he comes to know I did it against him? Unhe sachch ka pata chal gaya toh? No... Mein unse jhoot nahi bol sakti... if I am guilty ... I am guilty ... well... I hope I am actually guilty... aur ye... innocent... par kaise?'

Pragya heard the bathroom door open and saw Abhi walk towards her. The outfit she ordered for him looked good on him and she couldn't help notice the aroma of a fresh hot water bath coming from the only man she had ever loved. Everything felt like just the way it was back when they were together, in love with each other... 'except for this doubt that I have in my head... and the fear it brings'.

"Looking good?" he asked.

She smiled and nodded a yes.

"Par aapko ye trim hair suit nahi karta" she said.

"Oh... yeh to mera incognito look hai" he said, "Not many people recognise me with this, thoda mota bhi ho gaya hoon... that also helps."

She smiled and looked at the wound on his temple. She walked over to get the first aid box and signalled him to sit down on the chair as she picked up a tube of ointment.

"Arre nahi ... ointment ki jaroorat nahi hai... dekha maine" he said, "Tum bas ek bandaid de do."

She took a better look at the wound and said, "Theek hai... lagta hai bandaid hi kafi hoga."

She peeled off a band aid and applied it over his wound. She could notice his eyes staring at hers but she avoided eye contact.

"Ho gaya" she said, "Purab deodrant lekar aayega".

"Why? Do I smell bad?" he asked.

She smiled and said "nahi... bas abhi yaad aaya... woh ... kuch nahi".

"Batao... no issues." he said.

"Abhi yeh bandaid lagate waqt..." she said, "woh smell yaad aaya... miss kiya".

'God!!! miss kiya!!!' she thought, 'I actually did!'

He smiled and reached out to cup her face, but noticing her getting nervous he held back.

"Aapki ... coffee" she said, "Wahan rakhi hai."

"Haan... coffee" he said and walked towards the sofa and picked up the cup from the teapoy.

Tears welled up his eyes as he had his first sip of the coffee.

He let the coffee run around in his mouth before swallowing it, enjoying the calmness and peace it brought with it. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensations that he felt and the memories rising up in his mind – of Dadi, Pragya, Fuggi, and Nikku. He kept the cup on the teapoy and wiped the tears that had found its way on to his cheeks.