Dry white wine(Rimmer x Lister)

Chapter 2: Polaroid

Space was big. Anyone who had a brain knew that space was big, and being alone in it was overwhelming so it's no surprise that one might begin to feel homesick.

There was a sea of around 300 people all cheering and rejoicing at their victory. 'He saved us' 'we're free' People screamed joyfully, and it was true he had saved them all and the gratification of it was...well gratifying. He stood there with a smile on his face overlooking the celebrations his blonde hair blowing perfectly in the wind. People came up to him to offer gifts or to shake his hand, women even hugged and kissed him, some men to but he didn't mind he loved the attention far too much to care.

This was what he had wanted for as long as he can remember, to be loved and respected by everyone who saw you, to have women grovel at his feet and actually want him within a 2 mile radius of them, to be someone other than a second technician whose man job was to repair a soup dispenser. This was all he had ever wanted.

But...despite all of that, despite all of those amazing thing, he felt...sad. He didn't understand it, he had everything but he felt worse than he had ever felt on Red Dwarf, something felt like it was missing as if a piece of himself just vanished the moment he left them and his brain refused to let him accept that he was worth something now. 'Pathetic' he thought to himself hopelessly, even though he had everything he still felt more useless than a secondary school P.E teacher. What kind of pathetic can excuse for an Ace Rimmer was he?

Rimmer decided there wasn't much use in staying back there so he just headed back for his ship with the intent of leaving. He walked back slowly, his head held up high despite his mental state and his body conducting a March out of sheer habit. He stopped for a moment and lent up against a wall for a quick break, he reached into his pocket for a cigar but felt something different. There was what felt like a Polaroid in his breast pocket that he had almost completely forgotten he had put there. He pulled the photo out cautiously as if he was scared it was a bomb that was ready to go off and it what he saw in his hands was a small polaroid photo of someone he wanted to forget, someone he didn't want to admit he missed dearly.

David Lister.

It was an old photo of him and Lister on his 'what would have been birthday' as Lister called it, he had been hard light for a short while and had been somewhere in his early 30's when it was taken and Rimmer remembered the day vividly despite being pissed out his right mind.

"Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you" lister sang loudly, almost completely off key "Happy Birthday dear Rimsy. Happy Birthday to you". Rimmer laughed loudly, in any other situation he would probably look at him annoyed and brush him off, but in this situation he was completely and utterly pissed so he enjoyed the whole performance "tremendously done Listy, you should sing more often" Lister looked at him blankly and said sluggishly and said "you never let me" Rimmer simply shrugged in response.

"Hey hey, dude let's take a picture" Lister said getting close to Lister's face "what?" Rimmer responded with his eyes widening "come on, it'll be fun, we can remember this day forever that way" Lister suddenly jumped out of his seat and ran to his bunk, he reached under the pillows and pulled out a Polaroid camera "come here, i guarantee you that you'll have this with you years ahead man" Lister smiled at him and bent down to grasp his shoulder. He pulled him in and held the camera up in the air, Lister smiled brightly up at the camera and Rimmer gave a tired and clearly drunk smile.

Rimmer looked at the Polaroid in his hand, had it really been two years since they had taken that picture? It felt like yesterday when Rimmer found it in his pocket the morning after and complained to Lister about taking a picture of him when he was that drunk. Rimmer felt his eyes begin to tear up 'wait what the hell?' his breath began to hitch 'oh god, please no' when soon he couldn't take it anymore.

He slid his back down the wall and began to sob softly. Although he didn't have one, it felt as if his heart was burning and he was finding it hard to breath. He took that ridiculous blonde wig off and took the Hologram remote out of his lower pocket, returning to the blue jacket he wore before he left, it was almost exactly the same except for the fact that they weren't with him. He missed Red Dwarf. He missed having company. He missed Lister. "It's hopeless anyway" Rimmer said, his voice rough from sobbing "It's not like I can just go back and find a replacement-" Rimmer paused. A replacement, of course. Why did he have to die again as Ace, as long as there was an Ace he wasn't exactly 'breaking the rules', but no one said anything about going back.

Rimmer stood up, the blonde wig still in hand, and devised a plan. Get back to Red Dwarf and get the others to help him find a replacement, sure he didn't know how he was going to do that but he had to try. Send the replacement off on his way to be the next Ace. And finally, Rimmer could settle back on Red dwarf.

This was it, as Rimmer sat in the seat of his ship and looked at himself in the mirror and saw himself, sure was a smeg head and he hated him at Times but at least he knew for sure it was him and not some pompous prick. As he started up his small ship he realised 'this is it, I'm going home' he looked at the photo of him and Lister, focusing on how the light highlighted Lister's features. Looking back he realised that that was where he became aware on some level how he felt for Lister. 'I'm going home' he thought putting the photo in his trouser pocket.

"I'll be there soon Listy'