P6 - Niall and the guy that made him doubt

Niall... I like you so much better when you're naked!

(1/3)

I was surprised when Niall phoned me. After all this time ghosting each other I thought he would have moved on and forgotten about me, after all, all signs pointed to him being happily dating a girl that I never knew about. I always tried to keep my feet on the ground and avoid feeling special, just trying to enjoy our time together both as lovers and also as friends, but by the end, after our little holiday in Cornwall I knew I was loosing control over my emotions, and to be fair, who wouldn't, if you have bloody Niall Horan waking by your side for a whole week, being all charming, sweet and hot as fuck at the same time.

When Niall went to LA he texted me a couple of times and also tried to phone me but I was feeling so sad and confused about what we had going on between us that I decided not to answer. I replied his texts with monosyllables, and after a few days he just stopped trying. I was feeling too vulnerable, falling in love at my age with someone like him, wanted and desired by half of the world. I knew he liked me but I doubted he would ever feel for me what I was starting to feel for him, which is natural. I already fancied him years before we even met, I fantasised about him long before I had a chance to even set my eyes on him, and thats OK if you are a teenage fan that will never get a chance to be close to him, but I am a random gay man almost in his forties, way too involved in something that should have been just a bit of fun, and I could see myself eventually crashing really hard, feeling sillier than a teenager. I couldn't expose myself to that.

Then his birthday happened and all over the internet I could see what a great time he was having. I thought about texting him but then I thought that not doing it would be the perfect excuse for him to think that I didn't care about him... although I actually did care a lot.  I thought that I just needed to carry on with my boring life while he continued living his best life being a celebrity, working hard and having a lot of fun, attending incredible parties and events with other celebrities like him. I really couldn't see myself fitting into that.

The weeks went by, lots of things happened to me and by the time Niall was back in London I was already determined to be realistic and keep him at bay if he ever tried to get in touch...

But I failed.

That afternoon I was in London to watch a play in the west end, but the friends I was supposed to meet didn't make it and I ended up watching the show by myself. I tried to make the most of the rest of the day and after the theatre I ended up in Soho, having some drinks by myself, flirting a lot and taking a lot of drunk-ish selfies with random men for the Insta. And Niall, who hadn't liked, commented or given any signs of interest on my social media for months, suddenly started doing just that, not only on that day's pictures but way back in time. I think I got at least 30 notifications of likes and comments and as I started to feel those butterflies in my stomach, I got his phone call, (you know, the one I wasn't supposed to answer). But I was a bit tipsy and kind of enjoying this sudden attention, after seven weeks of not talking to him I forgot that I wanted to stay away from his charms.

(Background party music) "alright mate?" Niall said... "are u in London?". "Hi mr Horan, yes I'm fine, thanks for asking, how are you?" I replied, trying and failing to be sarcastic. "Oh, fuck off mate..." he said as he laughed... "where are you?... is that Soho?..." he asked, as if he hadn't seen the location tags on the posts... "yes 'mate'" I said faking a cockney accent... "I'm at Comptons... how about you... how you doing?" I continued and Niall said "I'm having a little do at my place... I'm sending you an Uber... see you later, yeah?". And before I could say anything He hung up.

Who the fuck did he think he was? Expecting me to run to him just like that?...Three minutes later I got a text from the driver saying he was around the corner, and swallowing my conviction that I didn't want to see Niall for my own good, I finished my drink and literally run towards the car.