Cntrl Z: The Seen Unseen

Reverse Amnesia!

Because that is my curse, to remember everything from my own future but nothing of the past! To the best of my knowledge, I've always been this way. From the very first step I took as a toddler and from the very first words spoken, I was given every single memory from my entire life even though I hadn't yet experienced them, in return, they vanished from my mind once I experienced them. The most bizarre way, I'm living my life backward! I am burdened with the knowledge of tomorrow knowing fully well I can do nothing to alter the oncoming passage of time, thus at the ripe old age of 35, I have forgotten every single factual detail about my life, and once these words have been put down on paper, they'll be gone too, washed away by a fractured mind, but before we continue my story let me answer a few questions such as, how can I write if I forgot ever learning it? How can I walk? How can I even have relationships with other people if their details elude me day by day? To the first two I'll answer this, do you remember your first steps? The act of learning how to stand on two feet or is it simply something you know how to do, a skill ingrained into your very being. Do you even need to think before speaking or do words just flow out with only its context processed, love, on the other hand, is an emotion that transcends our memory, it's so deeply buried in our hearts that there have been cases of total amnesia, ridding the person of everything except for the love they hold within, memory and skill don't necessarily go together, some abilities are ingrained in our muscles and our subconscious mind, that's why I still miss my mother even though I remember nothing about her and it is why I still love my wife on her last night of life. My curse is more like reverse amnesia and the stories I have to tell, are simply words read from a notebook. Each day, I wait to read events from a time I cannot remember. The handwriting doesn't even belong to myself, but to two distinct people. The first set of stories spanning from my childhood to my mid-twenties were written by my mother. She was a brilliant person, quick to action and smart as all hell. She noticed something off about me at a very young age once I started predicting things that hadn't yet come to pass. The first incident occurred when I was five years old, it was such an innocuous dumb complaint. I didn't want to go outside because of the storm. I was afraid that lightning would hit us during the picnic we planned. My mother was naturally confused as the trip had been scheduled for the next day and the weather report had confidently stated that the day would be filled with nothing but sunshine. Then, as the next morning arrived, my mother was shocked to see that my predictions had come true. Baffled but still skeptical she wrote it down in her own diary is little more than an oddity. A year later my mother found me crying in my room. I was distraught because our cat had died. She sat down and started to comfort me. Our pet was of advancing age but he still remained healthy as curious as ever. In the middle of my frantic cries, the cat just walked in, checking what the commotion was about. A month later he passed peacefully in his sleep. A good old cat who lived a great life.