Hold Me Now

Chapter 9: Apologies

As soon as he woke up, he rushed around getting ready. The main goal is to get to Ava's house as fast as he can. The irony of the situation is not lost on him. He forgot Ali's birthday because he was drunk with the guys. He forgot the date with Ava because he was with the guys. There seems to be a pattern here. 

Anytime he's with the guys, and he's drunk or fighting, he loses his mind apparently. There has to be a balance, but he's not sure what it is. At the moment the only thing he knows is Ava is all he wants. It wasn't Ali. It's Ava and now he's hurt her too. The only thing he can do is apologize and hope it's not too late to repair the damage. 

What he really hopes is she doesn't give up on him because of this. It's clear Susan is right. He's trash, not worth Ava's time. These are the thoughts on his mind, as he hurried down the stairs to grab breakfast. 

His mom made bacon and eggs. Reaching for some, he accidentally made a mess. As he went for a paper towel, his mother came into the room. "Hi, Baby. How are you this morning? I didn't hear you come in last night," his mother stated. She came over and hugged him.

If anyone would know how to help him, with his girl, it would be her. "Mom I messed up—-"

At that moment Sid entered the room. "You screwed up again huh? I'm not surprised. You do that a lot. It's no wonder you have no college acceptance letters coming in. I mean look at yourself. Who would want to accept you? A high school flunkie, who gets into fights, and expects others to bail him out." He made to get a cup of coffee.

Trash, screw up, flunkie, loser, damaged...

Damaged, loser, flunkie, screw up, trash...

These words echoed in his mind. In an instant, he was that little boy again. The one who was always seeking his stepfather's approval. The one who just wanted to be loved. The one who just wants a dad. 

He has to get out. He has to leave before something happens. His head hurts and so does his heart. If he reacts or says anything wrong, then he's going to lose it. Damaged people are dangerous or so he's been told.

Putting the bacon and egg on a piece of toast, he took it, car keys, binder, and left. Sitting in the clean, red car, he put his head down on the steering wheel. He has to clear his mind. Tightness is on his chest mixed with sadness. Starting the engine and pulling out of the drive, he headed to Ava's house. He ate, on the way. 

As soon as he drove into her driveway, he didn't see her car but maybe it's in the garage. Parking, he got out. His hand shook by his side as he went to the door. If she dumps him like Ali did, then he might as crawl into a ball. Willing the nerves away, all the anxiety in his stomach and pain on his brain, a smile formed on his face. The kind that shows is straight teeth. 

He knocked once, twice. It opened. The smile stayed on his handsome face, until "Oh it's you. She's not here," her brother spoke. His voice sounded offended and he started to close the door.

Johnny stuck his foot in to block it. "Wait. Don't joke with me. If she's here go get her."

With an annoyed expression, Chase responded. "Are you hard of hearing? I said she isn't here."

His girl isn't there. Great. Plus he has to deal with her pest of a brother. Even greater. Growing agitated, he asked, "Well, where she is?" Her brother is trying to look tough with his arms crossed.

"And why should I tell you Rat Face? You stood her up last night. Made her cry," admitted Chase. As far as he's concerned, he's the only guy that gets to make his sister cry. Anyone else has to come through him.